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Husband has left but not mutual after 17years together

(10 Posts)
Lilfroggi1 Mon 04-Jan-16 10:25:39

Hi my husband left 3 months ago after 17years together we have an 8 year old daughter it came as a complete shock I think it still hasn't really sunk in. I have been just surviving until Xmas as I wanted my daughter to have a good Xmas and she wanted him to come for the day. I've been trying to sort the money side of things out which is getting there other than him deciding to not give the the right amount cm but that maybe sorted now. I did want to try and sort things out as his reasons seemed something that could be sorted out but he is still adamant that there is no way not that I am sure I want to anymore it's just that I am very hurt and the last couple of days I have been feeling quite low I do have friends and family that will support me but feel awful moaning to them all the time and I worry that they think I'm stupid for still sort of wanting to sort it out just don't know how to sort out how I'm feeling and what I want to do for me how I can get to move on. My daughter is sort of doing ok she doesn't seem to mention it much she has the odd outburst and she knows I love her lots just need a boost somehow I have got a counciling appointment in a couple of weeks but it feels a long time away

hellsbellsmelons Mon 04-Jan-16 12:52:39

I have commented on your other post.
But... please don't worry about leaning on your friends and family.
They really do want to help you.
There is nothing wrong with your wanting to 'save' this.
But you cannot save a relationship on your own.
It's just not possible.
He has left. He has checked out of the relationship. He has detached from you.
You now need to do the same.

RealityCheque Mon 04-Jan-16 13:20:24

OP, if you triple the amount of full stops you use and scatter in some paragraphs, your post may make more sense.

alltouchedout Mon 04-Jan-16 13:23:46

That's so helpful and supportive, RealityCheque hmm

maybebabybee Mon 04-Jan-16 13:24:34

oh ffs really? The OP's post is perfectly easy to understand. If you don't understand it don't comment, there are plenty of people who can understand it who will have helpful input.

flowers for you OP, sorry you are going through it. Seriously don't feel bad for leaning on your loved ones, that is what they're there for. You need support.

WeAllHaveWings Mon 04-Jan-16 13:28:54

Reality, very helpful, I'm sure full stops and paragraphs are the last thing on the OPs mind hmm

Its not a particularly long post, I'm sure you could understand it with little effort if you tried.

OP, as others have said, take up friends offers of help. People are usually very happy to help in circumstances like these, but don't want to push themselves on you in case you don't want it.

redfox2015 Mon 04-Jan-16 13:29:25

If you just need to talk then phone the Samaritans they won't offer advice but if you need a conversation you just had with friends and family they will listen supportively. You do not have to be feeling suicidal to talk to them. May help tide you over 'til your counselling session.

AlwaysBeYourself Mon 04-Jan-16 13:46:59

What were his reasons for leaving OP

OurBlanche Mon 04-Jan-16 13:53:44

And if they had bugger all to do with your ability to punctuate, he can bugger off too!

Do lean on real life help. Saying it out loud seems to be part of 'the trick'.

Best of luck getting your heart and head back on the same track xx

Lilfroggi1 Mon 04-Jan-16 16:23:31

Thanks most of you for your support, he left as he wasn't happy and also that he said loved me but didn't think he was in love with me. I don't think there is anyone else. I'm just gutted the last two days have been hard and I'm a bit down and I'm finding that I'm snapping at my daughter which I don't want to do at all but she has been hard work the last few days as she is not listening to me at all sad

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