Just when I thought we were getting somewhere on rebuilding our relationship OW has reared her ugly head again.
This last spring my DH of 15 years had an EA with a much younger woman he had met through work. He admitted it to me and I asked him to leave whilst I decided what to do. ( We have 2 DC aged 10 and 12).
After him living with a friend for 3 months and after lots of discussions we decided to reconcile. He had to prove himself to me in so many ways ( which he did) and obviously cut off ties completely with the ow as well as promising that he would tell me if ever she got back in touch for any reason. She lives hours away from our home town so there would never be any reason for them to meet and my DH also
changed jobs.
We got on with rebuilding our lives and I can honestly say we were getting on well, by both of us changing things which had led to the EA and communicating more when things upset us.
However yesterday he showed me a message she had sent via whatsapp after 5 months of no contact. The message itself was innocuous just saying she had " noticed" he was on whatsapp. ( She obviously still has him on her phone contact list to even know this). He has ignored the message saying she is obviously fishing to see what he is up to and to get him to be drawn into a conversation but it has left me feeling very emotional, swinging between feeling very anxious and also very mad. I really really want to text her and tell her to keep away from us but know we are doing the right thing by ignoring her.
How can I stop my anger towards her bubbling up ( especially in the evenings when kids have gone to bed for some reason). I feel as if this has set back our progress although my DH did not instigate anything. He would like to block her but we think we can only do this if her number is already in his contacts ( which it isn't) or if her message was still on his screen ( which it isn't as he deleted it as soon as he had shown me).
It has taken me months to get back to feeling reasonably calm and trying to lead our daily normal lives again and now this contact has knocked the wind out of my sails. My DH has reassured me as much as he can but it has really unsettled me.
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Ignore or confront?
11 replies
Eggsbutnobacon · 03/01/2016 19:28
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