My mum is an alcoholic. I've denied it for years because who wants to admit it but she is.
She drinks every single day to excess, I'd estimate 2 bottles of wine.
Every occasion is an excuse, if I suggest meeting for a coffee, she'll suggest a location that serves wine and "treat" herself.
She does nothing, no hobbies, only social life is popping to the pub. My dad drinks too but I have no concerns, he does not drink to excess and his personality never changes.
She is vicious to him and anyone she feels like, though mainly family. My sister though she lives in the same town is mainly nc, brother lives abroad and won't discuss it.
Christmas was so hard, I didn't want to spend it with her but the abuse I'd get if I hadn't wasn't worth it.
She looks awful. When you see her with friends the same age (64) you can see what it's done to her.
Her parents were alcoholics. I like alcohol but I'm starting to think that if it's inherited, then I can't drink because I can never ever do to my children what she's done to us - nothing physical but the verbal me and my siblings have had, the emotional turmoil and guilt etc, I can't do that.
I know I'm a bit like her, I'm very intolerant of my dad because he treats me like I'm thick, never gives me credit for anything, I'm a constant disappointment to them from not going to uni to having a child very young. I can feel their disappointments being projected onto their grandchildren though one is very very successful and of course is the golden child. She has never been able to treat her children or grandchildren equally, admits she has favourites though these change according to which one of us is most successful etc.
She has never ever asked to see her grandchildren since they were babies when she'd pose with the pram hoping people would think she was the baby's mum because she's far too young to be a grandmother (my fault)
I want to hear from people that have grown up in a family like this but escaped the cycle. I want to be me, not some copy of her but I can actually see how it happens.
Asking my dad or siblings to help won't work though I can talk to my sister. Brother is a very long way away but I'm seeing him soon so will discuss.
I'll probably add more, just needed this off my chest. I want to know how to avoid becoming her, more than anything so my children do not either.
Got to run, if anyone's been in this situation, please talk!
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Help me not become her
16 replies
operaha · 03/01/2016 12:39
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