Can anyone help me with a couple of questions about mediation? I mediated with my abusive ex a year ago. The children were interviewed and the agreement reflected their wishes. I have stuck to the agreement made which stipulated no fixed schedule for contact (children's request). They live with me and have been increasingly reluctant to see their Dad as a result of his poor behaviour.
I had a solicitors letter suggesting I was preventing contact. I'm not. It also stated that a referral had been made to a different mediator. My details were passed on without my consent. The mediator called me at 7.30 pm on my mobile from a mobile number. I was very upset and shocked to get an unsolicited call. I am no contact with ex except for arranging contact via email. Mediator launched into 'I've just talked to Mr Ex and he's really keen to mediate' etc. I had a panic attack. It was very upsetting and uncontained. I managed to say that a) we have already done recent mediation and have an active agreement and b) the children have raised serious concerns about their father - that I had raised these with ex's solicitor and would await a response before deciding about further mediation. She really didn't seem neutral at all. She said she would inform ex and solicitor that I had declined mediation. I asked her not to do this as I was not declining, just needed a response from solicitor.
Ex's solicitor says in writing I have declined mediation. Ex says mediator has issued form for him to go to court seeking a contact order.
Is this normal practice for a mediator? It is a proper firm, I have checked. They do not seem to belong to a professional body. I do not see how she has behaved neutrally here. I do not want them to lie to the court by saying I refused mediation. I do think mediation is a waste of time in this case. My older child is now 18 but ex has told my 12 year old that he 'will be getting a court order so she has to stay at his house 2 nights a week'.
If anyone knows about mediation I would appreciate your thoughts. I will consider shuttle mediation but is there much point given the ages of the children and that their needs and wishes formed the basis of the agreement made one year ago?
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15 replies
kittybiscuits · 03/01/2016 11:58
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