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Can I get a male perspective on porn?

(155 Posts)
Lepetitechat Sun 03-Jan-16 10:37:07

What part does it play in your life? If you're in a relationship do you still use it? Do you hide it from your partner? I'm just interested to know , and this is to do with my own self confidence - do the women in porn 'stick' in your head, or are they just images that you forget about moments later?
Do the women have to be stunning or is it more about the bodies and what's happening?
How does this affect how you feel about your OH?
I know how I feel about it, I don't watch it but if I did, and I have done in the past - the people in it made no difference to me, I couldn't have cared less but I know some people take it more seriously - having favourite stars for instance..
Sry for all the questions

Lepetitechat Sun 03-Jan-16 10:38:14

I suppose what I'm trying to say is does it make you feel less attracted to your OH or women you're dating, because no one can compare or match up?(to porn women)

AnyFucker Sun 03-Jan-16 10:40:14

Are you writing an article ?

firesidechat Sun 03-Jan-16 10:46:57

There are lots of men on mumsnet, but I'm surprised this would be your first port of call for a male perspective on porn.

CuttedUpPear Sun 03-Jan-16 10:50:36

Your questions and stating that you don't have a problem with it make it look like you are a journo.

Pannn Sun 03-Jan-16 10:51:17

Odd OP to parachute into the Rel section of a predominately female site.

Bloke here. IF I spill the beans shock can I have some of your book advance?

Quiero Sun 03-Jan-16 10:55:25

Why don't you repost this in the sex topic?

Or have you not been registered long enough?

Leviticus Sun 03-Jan-16 11:03:41

Well journo or not I'd like to know the answers to this too.

And it's probably where I'd ask because I'm a regular mnetter and wouldn't know where else to go.

Helmetbymidnight Sun 03-Jan-16 11:09:12

Surely a male perspective on porn is going to be as definitive as a female perspective on porn.

Or shall we nominate one man and one woman to talk for all the rest of us?

Offred Sun 03-Jan-16 11:22:44

If you have an issue with your partner and porn you'd get better answers from him as men are not one homogenous lump with one hive mind...

Lepetitechat Sun 03-Jan-16 11:28:47

I don't like to gender stereotype but I did specifically want a male perspective, just because whenever topics like this come up, men seem to go into hiding.. And I want to know why. I know that women also use porn!! But do we have a different opinion on it? I don't see it in the same way as my male friends because i didn't grow up with it like most if them did.
I don't know of any male dominated discussion forums, off hand.. And I'm guessing id get laughed out of them, without getting a proper answer
Would have posted on the sex section, but didn't because i do not believe for a moment that porn = sex, because it does not

steakpunararemediumwelldone Sun 03-Jan-16 11:29:30

Offred, they are not?! shock

'do the women in porn 'stick' in your head' .. only in niche porn.

Offred Sun 03-Jan-16 11:33:49

So is your question a personal one about a relationship, or a general, do male and female porn users have generally different approaches to how they view porn and porn actors and if so how do they differ and why?

It does seem strange to ask here if it is not a relationship question...

Offred Sun 03-Jan-16 11:35:38

There's probably some research somewhere on the general question... Google?

CuttedUpPear Sun 03-Jan-16 11:35:53

If you're a regular here why don't you ask this to be moved to the sex topic?

CuttedUpPear Sun 03-Jan-16 11:37:40

...and you don't know of any male dominated discussion forums? ?

Try: The Rest Of The Internet.
HTH

AuntieStella Sun 03-Jan-16 11:39:55

Or move to Dadsnet? It's a quieter topic, but somewhat more posted in by the male MNetters.

But I rather agree with Offred, this is probably about issues in your relationship, the use of pornographic material, and the insecurity that arises from it.

You could get the views of 1,000 men and still not improve your own relationship.

suzannecaravaggio Sun 03-Jan-16 11:44:53

Would have posted on the sex section, but didn't because i do not believe for a moment that porn = sex, because it does not

Nah, that doesnt wash, it definitely belongs in the sex section, and you need to post it there to prove you're not a journalist who has only just signed up

Fairenuff Sun 03-Jan-16 11:45:25

A 'male' perspective is going to be as varied as a 'people' perspective because, as half of the human race, they are not going to all hold the same perspective are they.

VoyageOfDad Sun 03-Jan-16 11:52:40

I did specifically want a male perspective, just because whenever topics like this come up, men seem to go into hiding

That's generally because any porn thread attracts women who are vehemently against it.

If you admit to using it , or discuss it , it's not long before you're branded a rapist who gets off on watching abuse.

It's not possible to have a conversation about porn in MN.

Offred Sun 03-Jan-16 11:55:43

I've never seen anyone called a rapist for watching porn.

I have seen, and said myself, people saying mainstream porn shows images of abuse of women and objectifies women (which is a form of abuse) so wanking to porn is wanking to images of abuse of women.

Offred Sun 03-Jan-16 11:56:30

You don't need to agree but you don't need to invent outrage either.

usual Sun 03-Jan-16 11:58:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyFucker Sun 03-Jan-16 11:59:11

My heart bleeds for you, VOD. Poor you, not feeling comfortable discussing your use of porn on here.

NotTodayZurg Sun 03-Jan-16 12:01:22

I'm a woman but I use porn regularly. It has no bearing on how I feel about my partner (also female).

I don't like the typical 'porn looking women' so tend to stick to the homemade/ amateur stuff. But I look at porn most days just as a visual aid to get off quickly. I've watched porn since I was about 16 and feel pretty well adjusted.

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