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Not finding love again but finding the real thing for the first time!

(6 Posts)
choccycornflakecakes Fri 01-Jan-16 22:30:15

That in a nutshell really. I've followed some really helpful threads on here discussing where to meet nice men when you find yourself single again and ready to date..

I was thinking about the relationships I've been in; abusive and unhealthy generally, though not so much when in my twenties (37 now), but more recently actually, I literally started sobbing this evening (came a bit of a shock to hear myself and I had to muffle it in case the DC heard), that feels cringe to admit.
I've never felt truly close to anyone; only my children and friends, but intimacy I mean, I can be fluffy with them IYSWIM as its different. It's just been a sort of false short term intimacy (I realise now), not the sort of love where you can look someone straight in the eye properly and bare your sole to them. Sorry bit blush to admit that too!

So having done lots and lots of work (and I mean lots) on my self esteem, core beliefs and behaviours, I'm feeling the most ready I ever have! (Well apart from the unexpected sobbing session tonight of course..)

I think what I'm trying to ask is not for success stories and happy endings if you find yourself singe again, especially with young DC, but if anyone has experience of prev intimacy issues that they overcame and met the love of their life who they became genuinely and wonderfully close to.. Hope that makes sense! Thanks.

choccycornflakecakes Fri 01-Jan-16 22:48:30

Arrgghhhh -reading that back it sounded a bit muddled sorry!

choccycornflakecakes Sat 02-Jan-16 08:18:39


minmooch Sat 02-Jan-16 08:24:49

Probably a bit the same as you. I do feel I was in love once, but aged 17. Never since then do I think I have ever been loved fully nor loved fully. I've kidded myself lots, ignored my inner warning system, thought I could make things better. I hope one day to experience love properly for someone and have it in return. But 50 being far too close I don't think it will happen for me.

choccycornflakecakes Sat 02-Jan-16 10:21:12

Thanks for your reply minmooch, was starting to think I was completely on my own!
As for inner warning signals; I'm not sure mine work at all,though I'm hopeful the therapy etc has reinstated them somehow..

I don't think being 50 is old at all or too late, but I do feel the same dispondency. Love and healthy relationships all feel quite elusive. flowers for you.

Fatherwishmas Sat 02-Jan-16 10:46:23

It's never too late! Get some good fiction and travel, who knows who you might meet?

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