Hi all,
Long time lurker but never posted but I feel I need advice that people here can give me.
I currently live overseas with my husband (forces) and currently feel our relationship is struggling for a number of reasons I will try and cover here.
We have a 20 month old DS and I am the main carer due to working part time to DH full time. I rarely get a lie in as DH feels I am a mother and it is my job to get up early with him or in the night, even on weekends when I need to be up for work and he doesn't.
I do the vast majority of the housework but it is not Upto the almost sterile standards he has been brought up with, he even runs a finger along the top of doors! He also gets cross that the house is messy when all there is lying around are toys.He has recently had a few weeks leave whilst I continued to work and again it fell to me to do all the chores. Washing doesn't count as having been done as the machine does all the work...?!
I also cook all meals if I am not working in the evening.
He can be quite a heavy drinker and recent sought mental health support as scored quite highly as being alcohol dependent but only went a few times as he felt there was nothing wrong with him. In the last 3 weeks he has
Probably been drunk at least 6 times,
He was hungover on Christmas Day and spent most of it in bed so my son and I spent it the two of us.
My son loves pushing buggies around at friends Houses so I found a little blue one which immediately went in the bin :( he says he shouldn't have toys like that and it's my fault if he's gay.
Money is a bit of a nightmare; now that I work it's less worrying as I have money of my own but before it was very much his money, he could do what he liked with it, such as his recent 1k in a casino, and I was questioned for 20€ in the supermarket.
He calls me names, recently I was a degenerate cunt because a separate bank account I has recently went slightly overdrawn (confusion with exchange rates and delays in money moving). I
Am also a "black cunt" for not being spotlessly clean.
He says I am a horrible person and not a single person likes me, that my family are horrible people (they are not I truly have a wonderful family).
We never do anything as a family, he is hungover or has far more Important things to do, such as watch football or anything on the tv. When I try bring this up he always rants about how I get everything I want he works for our house clothes etc. I tell him I don't mean material things but it falls on deaf ears. If he's out and comes in the tv is immediately changed to something I want to watch, he has no regard for my preferences in anything.
I'm sorry for the long spiel that probably doesn't make sense I'm just trying to gather my thoughts and hopefully someone on the outside looking in can offer me advice.
I return to the uk tomorrow for a few weeks and I'm really struggling with what to do next.
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Leaving husband?
11 replies
stretchmarkqueen0109 · 01/01/2016 21:02
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