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help to get out abusive relationsip

(2 Posts)
Cautlyn8795 Wed 30-Dec-15 23:56:11

So im with a man who revolves his life around alcohol and pub life. He wouldnt admit hes an alcoholic, im not even sure he is but he doesnt go more than a day or two without drink and he never knows when to stop. His first and last thought is drink. Every day trip we ever have he's working out where the nearest pub is. We live a almost normal life until hes drunk and he becomes aggressive. But i guess im starting to realise that is more often than not now. He loses his temper and shouts at me and the kids. My son at 4 shouts back. I know that hes already having an impact on him, and i need to put a stop to it.Im a samh i havnt worked for best part of 4 years. I dont know how id get by financially or where to even start in leaving him! But i also dont want to cut him out completely i know he loves our children and our children love him. That said the thought if him watching our children alone terrifies me! He isnt responsible! He would drink or have them in the pub. I have no evidence of anything to make the police not give him access rights!? Other than regular short tempered aggression and drunken threats hes never been physical. I literally dread him comijg home after a good drink. I dread him waking the kids, what they must think smelling the alcohol on him. The rubbish drunken talk he'd give them. But if hes going to get access whats the point in splittin up at least i can protect them a little this way!? I dont really understand what rights i have in leaving we own a house together bt arent married and id never be able to take onthe mortgage myself as i stand, so i guess id have to take our children out the house!? :-(

Cautlyn8795 Thu 31-Dec-15 00:01:15

To add, he hates laws, people telling him what to do etc. i know he'd turn into a psychopath if someone told him he couldnt see his kids. I know the law iffers you protection in that 'hed be arrested ' should he breech any terms. But it concerns me massively that he actually wouldnt care. Nothing would stop him coming to our house and seeing our kids, trying to take them or hurt me, im not sure relying on the police to protect me will cut it. But how do i prove he is this much of a risk to me and my children? When hes never been physically violent. He can be extremely nasty name calling etc when sober but when drunk hes a million times worse, he'll bang around the house too and im terrified hes going to wake the kids and they'll see him this way. He ince threatened to burn our house down should i try and leave with the kids. But that's my word against his. He was drunk, i mean did he even mean it!? He has a gbh conviction onhis criminal record. Will that help me prove he's dangerous!? Its about 15y old!

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