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confessed to texting other girls

(50 Posts)
painegang Wed 30-Dec-15 17:27:41

My boyfriend of 9 months got very drunk Christmas eve and proceeded to tell me he has been texting someone he met before me of the same dating site we met off as friends. He told me very drunk " omg you would be so jealous if i showed you a pic of her shes so pretty and big tits".Which to me incites jealousy i think ? He laughs saying i did her a year ago. . He wanted to know if id mind if he met her for coffee.Once sober Christmas morning he wonders why I'm upset .Crying i tell him i don't want to be with someone who texts other girls. He promised on his mums life nothing has been said inappropriate. She has a boyfriend and she knows about me. He couldn't understand why i got upset over that and wanted to draw a line under it saying "omg its not going to ruin xmas day is it ?" She is pretty he says but your prettier and she hasn't got big boobs i don't know why i said that . like i should be happy with that comment?! He also said it was a test ? A test for what ? Perhaps just trying to get out of what he said .He seems to have a few who text him kisses or such like. I've not yet been through his phone I'm too scared as to what i will find .I already start shaking just looking at his phone. My tummy's been churning since xmas eve. I'm not eating . He is so loving when he is with me and spends all his time off with me .Constantly wanting cuddles and telling me he loves me .But perhaps he was like that with every girl he has been with? You always think its your special thing but how many of us find out he was calling another girl special names you thought he only called you? So my head says end it my heart is still in love .What to do? Every time hes phone vibrates i feel ill .

Wishfulmakeupping Wed 30-Dec-15 17:33:32

OP you must think you deserve better than someone who firstly -deliberately tried to make you jealous and upset you and secondly someone who makes comments like 'I did her' and 'she's got big tits' .
Seriously OP the guy sounds like a complete loser who need ms to make you feel like shit so he can feel the big man- dump him and move on to a grown up.
Horrible end to this year but start the new year without this waste of space x

ExplodingCarrots Wed 30-Dec-15 17:35:00

He got drunk , spilled the truth and now he's back tracking. He sounds like a prize twat and I would run for the hills. Don't waste any more time on this man. You'll always be worrying and questioning if he's up to no good.

painegang Wed 30-Dec-15 17:39:59

He said he had sex with her a year ago before me . In the morning he couldn't understand why i was so upset over "that". i mean its not as if i said i cheated on you he said.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Wed 30-Dec-15 17:43:47

Listen to your head, ultimately it will protect your heart.

He couldn't understand why i got upset over that and wanted to draw a line under it
^ I'd dump him for this reaction alone. If he can't understand why you would be upset about that then either he is a manipulative liar or remarkably stupid. Yes, it needs a line drawing under it. By you dumping him just like you know you should.

Really, do you want to be one of those women who makes excuses and forgives her bf's appalling behaviour because he said she shouldn't be upset really and then he was extra nice for a while confused I don't think you do.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Wed 30-Dec-15 17:45:01

You know it is wrong. Arguing over the detail is a distraction.

You aren't upset about him sleeping with him a year before you are you? You are upset about all the other stuff.

MrsH1989 Wed 30-Dec-15 17:46:07

Really not worth your time. Get rid of him and move onto someone who deserves you.

LuluJakey1 Wed 30-Dec-15 17:48:58

He is telling you exactly who he is, listen to him, walk away now and don't ever look back at him. You deserve much much better.

AnyFucker Wed 30-Dec-15 17:53:35

he's a proper pillock, isn't he ?

not very sexy, that

dump his sorry arse if you have any self respect

Joysmum Wed 30-Dec-15 17:54:13

Ah so he's trying to make you think you're feeling are wrong and denying he's hurt you.

Let me put it this way, if DH or I upset each other, even if not on purpose, we'd be devastated and do all we could yo apologise and make up for being insensitive. We wouldn't minimise or try to blame the other person.

painegang Wed 30-Dec-15 18:00:35

He did say that he never want to see me that upset again but how nasty to say such things. Literally coming out with" omg if i were to show you a pic you would be soooo jealous" In the morning after relaying it all he says im so shocked that your upset over just that ? I wont meet her i forgot i cant have friends

Guiltypleasures001 Wed 30-Dec-15 18:11:13

He managed to fuck up your Xmas then didn't he op

What a creepy little twat seriously how very dare he, dump him New Year's Eve let him know what it feels like. Hateful little twit thanks

cece Wed 30-Dec-15 18:23:01

The way he is treating you and reacting to your upset should be enough for you to dump him.

magoria Wed 30-Dec-15 18:31:08

9 months in and he is texting other women, and 'testing' you.

He is also turning it on you, 'you are not going to ruin Christmas being upset are you?' that he won't meet her because you won't let him have friends. Look how he has made it all your fault.

Give yourself the best New Years present and dump his sorry arse.

SevenSeconds Wed 30-Dec-15 18:34:45

So he hasn't even apologised? He sounds like a really horrible guy.

inlectorecumbit Wed 30-Dec-15 18:37:25

run -> that way

SnakesandKnives Wed 30-Dec-15 18:42:54

Jees he sounds like a tool

Can I ask how old you both are?

Bin and find someone else. If your only real positive about him is 'he's very loving with me when he's with me' then that, in my opinion, isn't the basis a for a relationship - that should just be a standard bit of it.

painegang Wed 30-Dec-15 18:49:02

Hes 47 im 43

painegang Wed 30-Dec-15 18:49:41

only ever had one long term relationship

painegang Wed 30-Dec-15 18:50:01

him not me

littleleftie Wed 30-Dec-15 18:52:54

47!!!!!! Fuck that - he sounds pathetic.

ptumbi Wed 30-Dec-15 18:54:15

I wont meet her i forgot i cant have friends - I hope you have recognised that as the Passive-Aggressive blaming it is?

Bin him.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Wed 30-Dec-15 18:55:46

47! Have you dumped him yet?

AnyFucker Wed 30-Dec-15 18:57:57

what a fucking loser

bodenbiscuit Wed 30-Dec-15 18:58:15

I had a boyfriend like this. He was very insecure and felt the need to make me feel shit. He used to talk about other women's bodies shortly after I had had sex with him. It made me feel horrible. I don't think people think this are healthy to be with.

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