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Feel like I'm going mad - will antidepressants help?

(9 Posts)
ThingsCanOnlyGetBetter2016 Wed 30-Dec-15 09:37:25

To cut a long story short, I have had the worst year of my life with one problem after another that culminated in me finding out H was having an affair.
Around the same time I took on a new job, which with hindsight was s stupid thing to do as I just can't cope with it. I though it would give me something else to focus on but it's actually had the opposite effect and I just can't do it with all the other stuff going on in my life.

3 weeks ago I hit a mental brick wall and just couldn't go on - couldn't stop crying and felt completely overwhelmed. Couldn't sleep, constant anxiety. Doc signed me off work and I have have holiday to take so not going back to work till after New Year.
The thing is, I'm already stressing about it and feel the knot of anxiety all the time. I know I need to get out of this job and get back to something I am comfortable with so I am planning to resign but that all takes time. I just can't face it. Boss is passive-aggressive so not very understanding of my situation and I think has run out of patience with me. There is no-one else other than the 2 of us in the 'team' so there's no-one else I can call on to help me.
Added to my work problem I am completely confused about how I feel about H. I just can't switch off my 'I love him' button even though I know he has done the worst thing to me. We were married for a very long time. Am I just thinking that taking him back will be easier than divorcing? Could we make really make it work after he's completely shattered my trust? I really don't know what to do and I know you will all tell me I'm foolish for even considering asking him to come back.

I'm a complete mess at the moment. No tablets in the world can make my situation better, but would they make me able to cope with it better? I'm so frustrated because I am always a strong person. I just feel beaten at the moment.
Has anyone got any suggestions on how I deal with all this? I am longing for this year to end and for my crying to stop.

crazyhead Wed 30-Dec-15 12:52:54

I've got several friends who have found antidepressants helpful in similar situations. It depends if you meet the criteria for depression - something to discuss with your gp/other specialist.

I have also had an awful year and felt v pent up - horrible work restructure ongoing, lost my mum and father in law to cancer within months of each other, father ill. I totally empathise with the feeling of being overwhelmed with everything. In my case I won't take ads cos I need rest/spa days/time to exercise, and to change my job. I'm not depressed. Just depends if you are. Big hugs xxxxx

Buster08 Wed 30-Dec-15 14:26:43

I take ads for the anxiety caused by a similar situation, although I wouldn't say I was depressed at all. They can work for both.

They are a godsend, I still get feelings of anxiety several times a day but they recede almost straight away and the panic just washes over me. Its a strange feeling but it really helps me to get on with daily life.

Joysmum Wed 30-Dec-15 15:40:48

I think the best bet would be for you to go and have a chat with your GP. Your GP will be best placed to advise you on how best to move forwards without bias. If ADs aren't right you won't get them.

Please, phone today to make the appointment. If your practice is anything like mine you'll need to wait a bit for the first available one anyway. If things get worse before then, don't be afraid to phone for an emergency appointment flowers

Joysmum Wed 30-Dec-15 15:42:18

Oh and go online and look up Italk. See if there's a self referral system in your area and register with them if possible rather than waiting for the GP to do it. There's a big waiting list so sooner the better

mum2mum99 Wed 30-Dec-15 16:10:59

I would say counselling too. You need to offload and no wonder.
If you are prepared to pay for your session you can look up private counsellors and get some straight away.
So you are considering taking him back after his affair.
ThingsCanOnlyGetBetter2016, did you open a thread when all of this was going on?

ThingsCanOnlyGetBetter2016 Wed 30-Dec-15 16:12:19

Thanks Crazy - everything you described has happened to more plus extra added shit! I really hope you are OK. Literally every month something has happened that I have had to deal with and be strong for and now my body and brain have just forced me to stop. I agree re exercise and just last night put on my running shoes for a jog and it did help clear my head a bit.

I just can't take any more stress. Even in this last week I have had trivial things send me into panic - I've had to cancel a short trip away due to the floods, which I was really looking forward to, and then my central heating packed in and I am having to deal with all these on my own when previously H would have.

I'm seeing my boss this week and will tell her I am resigning and will book appointment with GP. I don't think I'm depressed, but definitely anxious and terrified and I suppose I am grieving for the people I've lost and the end of my marriage. I think I will need another sick note with the way I am feeling. I really don't want to take any pills. I feel like I need my wits about me and worry that they would make my mind a bit dull.

ThingsCanOnlyGetBetter2016 Wed 30-Dec-15 16:19:11

Thanks mum2mum99 - I'm not sure about counselling. Talking isn't going to change the situation. I have to learn to deal with it and move on. The anxiety can be crippling at times, especially with this new job I stupidly accepted.
I'm completely confused re H. How do I stop loving him? But how could I ever trust him again?
I suppose it all just boils down to be to being terrified about the future.

bodenbiscuit Wed 30-Dec-15 16:22:25

I'm on sertraline and I do find that it helps massively with my anxiety.

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