Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

We slept together then he told me he had a girlfriend :-(

(14 Posts)
Nofoollikeaoldfool Tue 29-Dec-15 14:17:19

He told me he had 2 kids with his ex girlfriend.
That wasn't a issue.We got on well and had loads in common.
We spent about 8 weeks getting to know one another then slept together.
The day after he told he him and the girlfriend still lived together and were for the children.
He told me he felt guilty and ended it.
I'm devastated.
Why do that to a person.
Surely you wouldn't hang around for months if sex was all you were after.
I feel so stupid and used.

donajimena Tue 29-Dec-15 14:19:30

Thats awful. You were well and truly tucked up there. You are not stupid and this is not your fault.
He's a twat

RNBrie Tue 29-Dec-15 14:20:11

Gah. What a cunt. Do not feel stupid or useless!!! This was not your fault. It's happened to me twice that I've inadvertently been the other woman and genuinely had no idea the guy was in a relationship. I was pretty heartbroken both times.

But give yourself a bit of time and space and you'll realise that this was totally him and not you. And you had a really fucking lucky escape. Nice men don't do this.

LookingForwardto2016 Tue 29-Dec-15 14:20:12

What a bastard he is sadangry
At least you've had a lucky escape from him.

Nofoollikeaoldfool Tue 29-Dec-15 14:21:41

I told him I was really falling for him.
He said the same.
I don't understand some people.
If you want sex go to a prostitute don't hurt people.
And held his hand eugh.

tribpot Tue 29-Dec-15 14:22:50

I suspect he liked the whole romance and build up of it, the ego boost if you made it obvious you were keen.

You got away lightly - at least he didn't kid you on for a while longer, or even dangle the idea that he might leave his DP (hardly just a girlfriend if they have children together). A clean, if brutal, end to the thing - sorry you've been so hurt.

Nofoollikeaoldfool Tue 29-Dec-15 14:28:04

He tried to tell me he isn't in love with her anymore and he fell for me blah blah.
He said he didn't think he would feel so guilty after.

Finola1step Tue 29-Dec-15 14:40:59

Me dsis had one of these a few years ago. Told her he was separated from his wife but were on good terms with his stbxw for the sake of his dc.

He told my dsis he loved her, wanted to get married etc. They had a fabulous holiday to the Caribbean etc etc.

What he failed to tell my dsis was that at some point after he started seeing her, he actually went back to his wife. He then kept things ticking along with my dsis for about 9 months. I think he did it to keep her on the back burner in case it all went tits up again with the wife.

So why am I telling you this? Well my dsis finally saw the light. She swore off men for life but a few weeks later met someone else. They've been together now for a good few years and are very happy. He's a good bloke. No big gestures, no fancy promises just a decent fella.

Some people like the challenge. Some line up the next partner before the current one has left. Some people just don't think that monogamy and truth are important.

You've had your fingers burnt but you've had a lucky escape. Pick yourself up, dust yourself down and carry on. flowerscakewine

SolidGoldBrass Tue 29-Dec-15 14:53:28

Been there myself a time or two. You didn't do anything wrong. He's the one who told lies. Block all contact and move on: plenty more men out there.

thelaundryfairy Tue 29-Dec-15 14:59:51

You have had a lucky escape. Delete his number, ignore any attempts from him to contact you, and move on. You do not deserve to be lied to.

Nofoollikeaoldfool Tue 29-Dec-15 15:08:49

I'm so annoyed with myself because I'm still thinking about him.
First guy I've had feelings for in years

FedUpWithJudgementalPeople Tue 29-Dec-15 16:23:27

But the person you developed feelings for isn't the real him. The real him is a liar and a cheat.

Don't get sucked in to be his bit on the side. He's a knob.

PitPatKitKat Tue 29-Dec-15 17:16:13

flowers cake wine

What an arsehole. You did nothing wrong. He practised deliberate deception. Sorry to hear you met such a wrong 'un. You deserve better- the fact you feel down and hurt over this shows that.

Onwards and upwards lovey.

HandyWiseWoman Tue 29-Dec-15 17:39:49

What an utter lowlife he is. Totally not your fault. Block and move on with your head held high. Twat.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now