I'm looking for some advice. My DH is, in many ways, brilliant. We've been together 10 years and still love each other. Our sex life is good (although much less frequent than it was pre-children), we don't really argue and neither of us has a temper. He's also a good father in many ways - plays with the kids, good sense of humour, cuddly etc.
But oh my God, is he a grumpy fucker. 
Every evening I feel jittery about him coming home because I don't know what sort of mood he's going to be in. It's important to point out that he is NEVER 'angry', but he can come home from work in some foul moods and when he does he sucks all the joy out of everyone else in the house. If he's feeling miserable/fed up/annoyed, he doesn't rest until we all feel like that too. Sometimes (about once every fortnight, sometimes more often) he just walks through the door, mutters that he's got a headache and stomps upstairs to bed. I sympathize in some ways because bad headaches are horrible, but this then leaves me with disappointed children who were looking forward to seeing him, and quite honestly, I've usually been desperate for a bit of a break from them myself, so his disappearing act does not go down well with me either. He is also the worlds biggest sulker, which spreads more doom and gloom. On top of this, he spends much of the weekends lying about on the sofa - fair enough, he works hard and he's tired - and although he happily does housework on his own terms, he ignores anything I (nicely) ask him to do unless I practically sit on him repeatedly nagging him to do it every few minutes. It's easier just to do it myself, which I think is what he's banking on. If I point this out or tell him that I need him to pull his weight, this prompts hours of sulking which is no fun for anyone.
I feel like I've made him sound awful there, so please do bear in mind what I said about him first - in many ways he's a lovely husband and dad. But how to deal with the sulking and moodiness? And how to get him to pull his weight?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
How to deal with grumpy DH?
myhusbandisagrump · 29/12/2015 13:56
"Lovely husband and dad"? 
He's a self-entitled arse who has no compunction about visiting his moodiness on you and the dc and who won't bestir himself to pull his weight at weekends.
A joyless fucker like him is an appalling role model for your dc and his behaviour will inevitably have an adverse affect on them.
The only way you'll be able to bring about any change to his attitude is to tell him that either he shapes up or he ships out - and mean it.
If he leaves work in a foul mood tell him to stop off at the pub for a swift half and put a smile on his face before putting his key in the door, and not to bother coming home if he can't manage that simple task.
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.