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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

SIL propositioned my DP

17 replies

Elfishpresley · 29/12/2015 08:56

DP has just told me that 6 years ago (before me and him, he was with his ex, SIL was with my DB) my SIL told him she loved DP and would he run away with her. He also said she did the same thing every time they were out and she had been drinking. He obviously knocked her back as he was with someone and was a good friend of DB. When DP mentioned this to another friend, they admitted that she would do the same to them too.

I'm totally shocked and angry to be honest. She treats my brother awfully, always putting him down and he throws money at her which she gladly takes.

I really don't know what to do. Me and her are not on good terms due to her behaviour towards me and DP which all makes sense now. I know if I told my DB she would manipulate things to make me out to be a liar.

Just needed to vent really as I can't really talk to anyone in RL about this.

OP posts:

Report

pocketsaviour · 29/12/2015 09:00

Oh dear, that sounds horrible. I think you're right that it wouldn't go over very well coming from you. Could your DP be persuaded to have a word with your DB about it?

category12 · 29/12/2015 09:06

She doesn't sound very happy.

Joysmum · 29/12/2015 09:15

Was this all 6 years ago or is the behaviour still current?

NeedsAsockamnesty · 29/12/2015 09:32

Is this something she does just when she gets drunk or when sober?

Elfishpresley · 29/12/2015 09:43

It stopped towards my DP when we got together. I'm unsure if it's still going on towards other people.

It is something that she does when she's been drinking. Her behaviour when she's had a drink is questionable to say the least.

OP posts:

Thankgodforthat · 29/12/2015 09:48

If it was six years ago, only when she was drunk and before you were on the scene, I would leave it be.

Elfishpresley · 29/12/2015 09:58

It's not about me at all, the fact it was DP doesn't bother me, like you said it was before I was on the scene. I'm just fed up of seeing her hurt my brother and make a fool out of him! I know it's not worth saying anything but she makes me so angry!

OP posts:

NeedsAsockamnesty · 29/12/2015 10:02

The likelyhood of your DB not knowing generally what she does when wrecked is slim.

Pissed up human acts like a knobber is not quite unusual

Whocansay · 29/12/2015 10:03

Why has your DP decided to tell you now?

peggyundercrackers · 29/12/2015 10:17

you should say something - if this was a thread about a man behaving like this with his wife his behaviour would be slaughtered and he would be hung drawn and quartered. the two faces of MN I guess...

OohMavis · 29/12/2015 10:21

6 years is a long time. She sounds like a dick but don't assume your brother doesn't know.

OohMavis · 29/12/2015 10:23

Also, don't assume that just because you're close with your brother that he won't shoot the messenger. Bitter experience...

Whocansay · 29/12/2015 10:23

peggyundercrackers really? You'd create a potentially massive family rift over something that happened 6 years ago?

MizK · 29/12/2015 10:25

She might have calmed down now. I understand why you are upset and her behaviour does sound dodgy. But there is nothing to be done about it now. Telling your brother would result in an almighty shit storm and help nobody. I think your DP should have kept this to himself as all it has done is upset you and made you feel disloyal if you don't tell your DB.

Viviennemary · 29/12/2015 10:43

This all happened in the past before you were even with your DP. If it happened last week then yes maybe consider telling your brother. But six years ago. Absolutely not. Just stay out of it and let them get onwith their own lives. In fact I think it was quite wrong of your DP to tell you this now. I'd be thinking he was a bit suspect because of this.

peggyundercrackers · 29/12/2015 11:09

Whocansay yes I would - I wouldn't stand by and watch someone take the piss out of my brother.

as I said if this was a woman posting about a man propositioning other woman and leaving his wife at home there would be hell to pay according to MN. too many two faced people on MN though and only want to see fault in men.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 29/12/2015 11:16

If I had people making a drama out of my DH (if i still had him) drunkenly declaring undying love for pretty much everybody, I would laugh at them.

It's ridiculous silly behaviour but something that some people just do make and female.

The op has given no suggestion that it was anything other than drunken ramblings unless she wants to massively drip feed now.

My thoughts would be the same if it was a male or female

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