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Is it me

(8 Posts)
Worrall20 Mon 28-Dec-15 23:34:31

Please be honest with your opinions. I am a working mum of two older kids at uni. DH is older then me also works full time, he earns more money than me. I do all the cooking, cleaning, pay the bills, from joint account, ironing,walk the dogs. DH does nothing unless asked. I also look after stepdad with severe dementia and real dad with serious health issues. DH will not go out anywhere, will not go for a walk etc. Not too bothered have lovely friends walk the dogs, meet once a month for Indian etc. Today asked DH to fix handle on door, which he did, however needed painting as handle different size. Asked him if he was going to paint round handle. He flew into a rage said I was a f***king t***. I was fuming said he never contributed any thing to the house, maintenance/upkeep wise, I like to live a clean and tidy house. We are now not speaking. I am fed up of spending every weekend evening sat watching tv while he goes to bed at 10am. He never speaks, not just to me but anybody. I talk to everybody and am feeling so lonely. He buys no presents at Christmas I do everything. I am fed up of being the doormat, kids expect washing, ironing etc. Should I just leave or stay and face a life of boredom with an a Dh who does not appreciate me. First post so thanks for listening.

FuckyNell Mon 28-Dec-15 23:37:38

Well I've been married 20 years. We've had our bad times. Never has he called me a fucking twat though.

I think if you're posting this then really deep inside you've answered your own question.

Marchate Mon 28-Dec-15 23:40:11

If he wasn't there, your life would be almost the same, but without the aggravation

isamonster Mon 28-Dec-15 23:41:16

It is not you. It is him. He is a fing twat! I'm glad you have some lovely friends. You sound overloaded and unappreciated at home but dont let him make your life a misery... I think you know what you need to do but I appreciate how hard it is.

Twitterqueen Mon 28-Dec-15 23:43:42

Ask yourself what DH adds to your life. Does he contribute care, joy, companionship, partnership... From the sound of it, the answer is no.

I've come to the realisation that what I always wanted was a 'wingman'; someone who always had my back, as Top Gun illustrates.

My exH was never my Wingman, he was my judge, jury and fat controller (except he wasn't fat).

Life is too short to be with a drainer - go for radiators.

LuluJakey1 Mon 28-Dec-15 23:49:20

Why are you asking should you leave? Surely your question should be 'Why on earth would I stay in this marriage?' There seems to be no love or respect in it for you at all. Why would you settle for this?

Worrall20 Tue 29-Dec-15 00:15:01

Hi everybody, thanks for yr comments. Especially 'Twitterqueen' made me chuckle. It's very hard when you have been together for long time. However think life is too short to spend with people who do not appreciate you!

LuluJakey1 Tue 29-Dec-15 00:22:48

Twitter I always went for drainers and fat controllers but my DH is my wingman- no doubt about it.

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