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teenage daughter having sex

(20 Posts)
LisaSimmons1969 Sun 27-Dec-15 17:18:21

I am worried my 14 year old daughter is having sex. I know if I ask her about it she will not tell me, how do I investigate?

AnyFucker Sun 27-Dec-15 17:19:00

Erm..

FayKorgasm Sun 27-Dec-15 17:26:48

You ask her.

RiceCrispieTreats Sun 27-Dec-15 17:26:55

What are you worried about, specifically?

Teenagers think about sex and seek to have it. If she's experimenting with others her age, then the best you can do is have the kind of relationship with her where she knows she can come to you with any questions or concerns she has.

If you think she's being groomed by older men or something sinister, then yes that warrants an investigation.

But if there's no actual danger to be feared, then being respectful of your teenager and trusting her is the best course.

usual Sun 27-Dec-15 17:30:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThisIsStillFolkGirl Sun 27-Dec-15 17:37:42

You don't investigate

You could always have a conversation with her.

Christmascheerful Sun 27-Dec-15 17:41:17

Please don't hack her phone/facebook/instragram etc she will find out and be FURIOUS and it's a massive breech of privacy.
Does she have a boyfriend? Any guys on the scene? It's definatly time ti have a conversation with her a out protecting herself CONDOMS always and other contraception. Respect for herself and others... and hope she listens.... you really can't investigate

ALaughAMinute Sun 27-Dec-15 17:46:54

Just ask her gently and advise her about contraception etc.

Fairylea Sun 27-Dec-15 17:47:08

I have a dd who is 13 and I regularly check her iPad after she has gone to bed (I don't let her keep it in her room overnight and make her plug it in to charge in the kitchen, same with her mobile). She doesn't know that I check (although she might suspect it, she never deletes her chats with her friends) but I do. If I found something I wasn't happy about I wouldn't let on that I'd found out (unless it was something really awful) but I'd try to start conversations about whatever it was in the hope that she might open up to me.

If I suspected she was having sex at a young age I would be very strict about who's house she was going to and dropping her off and picking her up myself etc. Yes she could be really sneaky about it but I would really make every effort to make it very difficult for her.

We do have a very open relationship with each other (despite me sounding like an ogre I'm sure) and we talk about sex and relationships etc she knows all about safe sex. I had sex for the first time aged 18 and I would be really disappointed if my dd had sex aged 14 or so.

dalmatianmad Sun 27-Dec-15 17:56:55

I think it's really important to be upfront and just have a conversation about it all....

Don't be sneaky and check her devices.
If she is having sex you need to know ASAP and make sure it's not CSE....

usual Sun 27-Dec-15 17:58:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ElfOnTheBoozeShelf Sun 27-Dec-15 18:02:12

Breaking her trust by searching through her devices / diary / room would be a huge violation of trust, and very disrespectful.

Speak to her.

SparklyTinselTits Sun 27-Dec-15 18:09:05

Have a conversation about contraception. It's what my mum did. She said that she couldn't stop me having sex, but if I was going to do it, she would at least be able to rest a bit easier knowing I was safe from pregnancy and infections.

thewookieswife Sun 27-Dec-15 18:13:18

Isn't that illegal ? A reminder of that might not be a bad idea ! And obviously the other party is breaking the law too !!! I'd be giving an extremely short sharp lecture on the law /age of consent if I were you !
Good luck !

PrimeDirective Sun 27-Dec-15 20:11:33

So she's getting drunk every weekend and having sex.
Right, ok.

mum2mum99 Sun 27-Dec-15 20:21:04

The best you can do is talk, explain consent and make sure she does have contraception. A tough one, but you can do it!

EmmanuelleMumsnet (MNHQ) Sun 27-Dec-15 21:16:59

Thanks for your reports. We have reason to believe this poster isn't all they appear to be, so we will be zapping this shortly.

AnyFucker Mon 28-Dec-15 00:10:26

Teenage girls having sex and someone asking how to "investigate" it

That's completely normal, of course

ScoutandAtticus Mon 28-Dec-15 07:24:08

Weirdo

Tiredemma Mon 28-Dec-15 07:25:14

freak

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