am i wrong?

[justejessie]

Long story short (ish) i use to live with my partner of 3 yrs but last year after discovering i was ill he decided he still wanted to be with me but financially couldnt support me and his step daughter! we moved out to an apartment which yes is much easier and financially im better off but i have found it hard to get my head around thinking if your together you stick together no matter what! anyways Christmas day comes and he says he is going to nip and see his mum and dad at 2 ( really a mummys boy and we fell out 2 yrs ago..another story) well that was fine and i said i would do dinner for when he got back..I dont cook much at all these days due to my illness so to me was a big deal.. I started to get a strange feeling and when he got back asked if he had eaten to which he said 'a little' so we ate dinner and he left a lot. i asked why did he eat at his mums if he knew i was cooking dinner his reply was that he was invited!!!!!! so firstly he knew abt this before i started cooking?, his mother must surely think he is single to invite him otherwise surely she would presume he was eating with us??? anyway he stormed out saying i had ruined Christmas and what was the big deal..I just feel really hurt as to me it was special because it was christmas dinner and id cooked it and feel lied too and that he has no respect for me . please any advice would be great x

[ouryve]

Leave him to his mummy. He's not worth the heartache.

[DorynownotFloundering]

You can do better, he's a cocklodger, let him go home to mummy & you get on with your life.

2016 is YOUR year, don't let him ruin it any more.

[justejessie]

a coklodger!! lol never heard that before? i just didnt know if i was being unreasonable and had no one to ask esp as i dropped my phone down the toilet and now charger wont fit and cant afford a new one !! im older than him and thought maybe i was being a bit over sensitive etc x thank you both , glad i joined mumsnet now x

[antimatter]

But hexnade a big deal too by storming off!

[justejessie]

Just feeling pretty rubbish especially with it being christmas... too old for all this rubbish x

[ouryve]

Everyone is too old for all that rubbish ;)

[justejessie]

lol x

[LynetteScavo]

Do you actually live together?

Or did he throw you out when you became ill?

[justejessie]

yes we did live together and after abt 7 mths of me not being able to work said he couldnt afford for us to live together.. i prev had been renting and he asked me to move in with him..he said it would reduce the stress on him working and coming home to me still in bed and not being able to work etc and him stressing abt money....that was last dec i moved out in January x

[springydaffs]

Oh please - get rid. Waste of space.

HE ruined Christmas btw.

[justejessie]

thanks springydaffs just feel a bit of a prat like ive been an idiot the last 12 mths ....x

[springydaffs]

I don't think these things are easy to see up close. Clear as day to anyone looking on but far from clear when you're in it.

Plus you and I wouldn't behave like that and we take a while to twig when someone does.

Don't feel bad. Relationships need trust and you naturally trusted him in order to have a relationship. He abused your trust, that's not your fault.

[LynetteScavo]

He's not behaving line a friend, let alone a partner.

[LIZS]

So he turfed you out last Christmas knowing you were ill and went back to mummy's home cooking this? Why are you with him? How come you weren't all invited to his parents for dinner?

[justejessie]

when i moved in with him his mum acted like i was lodging there but i let it go anyway one night id got home from work id been working in a different town so was exhausted plus had this illness starting and all i did was text his mum to ask if when she was next passing could she please drop in the spare key please as i wanted to give it to the neighbor who was always home and would be easier if we needed it x well i heard his phone ping immediately she had text him saying ' jess just text me me this ( etc etc) is this ok???????? i know i was tired and ill and i very rarely loose my temper but i did. i text back saying that this is my home too and if i ask for the return of the spare key there should really be no need to text him to see if its ok??? anyway that was the end of that relationship .my health just got worse after that until eventually i had to give up work anyway which is not what im use too x

[justejessie]

when i moved in with him his mum acted like i was lodging there but i let it go anyway one night id got home from work id been working in a different town so was exhausted plus had this illness starting and all i did was text his mum to ask if when she was next passing could she please drop in the spare key please as i wanted to give it to the neighbor who was always home and would be easier if we needed it x well i heard his phone ping immediately she had text him saying ' jess just text me me this ( etc etc) is this ok???????? i know i was tired and ill and i very rarely loose my temper but i did. i text back saying that this is my home too and if i ask for the return of the spare key there should really be no need to text him to see if its ok??? anyway that was the end of that relationship .my health just got worse after that until eventually i had to give up work anyway which is not what im use too x

[justejessie]

Thank you springydaffs, its true what you say .... when your in it you dont see it x