Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Married man texting

(15 Posts)
ToddlerTantrums Sat 26-Dec-15 23:02:45

I left my husband a few months ago and now live in a different city to him and above married friend.
Friend (not a close friend) is someone I met through work, always got on well with etc. got in touch to see if I was ok after leaving husband etc.
Tonight he text me asking could something ever happen between us. I obviously replied well I don't think your wife would appreciate it.
He pushed it and asked if he was single would we have a chance. I replied well you aren't single are you? You are married to someone who I think is lovely and have a beautiful child so no.
It's made me really sad as I always saw him as such a nice person. I sent him a message just saying it would break your wife's heart to see messages like this to someone else. You have a great family and should be very careful you don't lose them.
This on top of realising how much of a dicky STBXH is has proved I'm an utterly terrible judge of character sad

bodenbiscuit Sat 26-Dec-15 23:06:14

This has happened to me too with quite a number of married men. I don't know why they do it sad but I think maybe they saw me as vulnerable.

ThisIsStillFolkGirl Sat 26-Dec-15 23:20:25

Oh god, when I became single the number of married men who hit on me..!

These included good a friend's husband, a married friend of a friend and several colleagues.

ToddlerTantrums Sat 26-Dec-15 23:45:17

Why do they do it? It has really thrown me. Yet another thing to add to the LONG list of reasons to stay single

AnyFucker Sat 26-Dec-15 23:48:21

Ugh

LionHeartedWoman Sat 26-Dec-15 23:51:04

sad Especially when they seemed like one of the good guys.

Fairenuff Sun 27-Dec-15 00:35:18

He pushed it and asked if he was single would we have a chance. I replied well you aren't single are you?

I think that this reply hints that you would be interested if he was single. It would be better to say 'No, I could never be interested in a man who shows such lack of regard for his partner'.

Sum314 Sun 27-Dec-15 00:40:18

no I think it was a good answer.... it's a reminder to him that the point is not whether you like him or don't like him, he's not free. Fairenuff's answer is how I'd feel but it's no OP's job to give this guy a moral compass.

I'm lucky, or ugly but this hasn't happened to me.

ohtheholidays Sun 27-Dec-15 00:40:19

OP it's not you it's him.I've had the same happen many times,some were married,some living together and at least one his partner was pregnant with they're first child.

Each time it happened I was shocked and pissed off with the guys that asked.I'd never given any of them any reason to think I would be interested in them that way and with all of them there were some problems at the time within they're own relationships.

thelaundryfairy Sun 27-Dec-15 00:42:07

Cut contact with this man, he is not going to do you any good. I hope you have some other friends you can rely on who can help you get through this difficult time.

scarlets Sun 27-Dec-15 02:01:01

It's laziness. He is bored and wants an affair with someone, but can't be bothered to sign up to Tinder, to groom a colleague, or to trawl bars. You're an easy mark.

Send him packing.

ToddlerTantrums Sun 27-Dec-15 07:25:43

Fair I hadn't thought I it that way. I was trying to make the point that 'what if' really isn't relevant as it not reality.
It's so sad that so many on here have had the same. I really feel for these men's wives.

TheDowagerCuntess Sun 27-Dec-15 07:28:31

Good on you for reacting the way you did.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Sun 27-Dec-15 07:47:06

Yes if he asks again. .he probably will..say no because he is a cheating type

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Sun 27-Dec-15 07:47:47

A guy like that will see "no because you're attached" as not an outright refusal. Even though it is.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now