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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Casual relationship - won't accept I want to end it

43 replies

bodenbiscuit · 26/12/2015 18:50

I've been seeing someone on/off for over a year. We are not suitable for each other for a long term relationship for various reasons.

But I find myself thinking about him all the time and so I decided that probably it's best to stop seeing him. So I told him this and he doesn't seem to understand or accept it. He says I'm 'weird', he can't understand why I can't keep on seeing him. I said because I don't want him inside my head all the time and he said 'well what's wrong with that?'. I don't understand why he can't accept that I need to get over him because I don't want to be hung up on him when it can't go anywhere.

OP posts:

Report

AnyFucker · 26/12/2015 18:53

Tell him it's over then don't see/ speak to him again

Anyone has a right end any relationship at any time for any reason

BubsandMoo · 26/12/2015 18:56

Why do you need to understand what he can/can't accept? You've decided it's over, then it's over, and you don't need to keep speaking to him any more. Its not your concern what he thinks about it really.

bodenbiscuit · 26/12/2015 18:58

It just upset me that he told me I'm weird and not normal. I expected him to understand.

OP posts:

RudeElf · 26/12/2015 18:59

He doesnt need to accept it. You dont need his permission. If you say its over then its over. So stop contact. Make it actually be over!

Branleuse · 26/12/2015 19:00

because he wants it to stay as it is?

Tbh, it doesnt sound like hes stopping you or being overly clingy or dragging it out forever. Hes just telling you how HE feels about it. Most relationships dont just end without any further discussion

AnyFucker · 26/12/2015 19:00

This is an easy one. No kids, no attachments to him. Just end it, no more postmortems.

DeltaZeta · 26/12/2015 19:01

You don't need his understanding or his permission. Cease contact - block his mobile number and social media if necessary. Done.

bodenbiscuit · 26/12/2015 19:04

Yes I have done. The problem is that I don't like anything to not end 'nicely'

OP posts:

AnyFucker · 26/12/2015 19:05

Well if he won't accept it nicely, that is his problem not yours

RudeElf · 26/12/2015 19:18

Yes I have done. The problem is that I don't like anything to not end 'nicely'

How many relationships have you had and how many have ended nicely? Quite honestly youre going to need to get over that if you ever respect to get out of a relationship again.

Tbh it sounds like youre the one not accepting this relationship is over.

RudeElf · 26/12/2015 19:19

expect not respect.

bodenbiscuit · 26/12/2015 19:29

Ok....obviously I want it to end or I wouldn't have said what I did. I'm rather sensitive and did not like being called weird that's all.

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bodenbiscuit · 26/12/2015 19:31

In the past he's said he wanted it to be more than just sex but that won't ever happen - it wouldn't work

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RudeElf · 26/12/2015 19:32

Ok maybe i have misinterpretted. Is it possible you want the romantic relationship to end but had hoped you could continue to be friends? It just seems like you want a door left open by having everything sewn up nicely.

AnyFucker · 26/12/2015 19:34

You are not weird.

Ragwort · 26/12/2015 19:36

Perhaps he is just as sensitive and didn't want you to end the relationship - did you really want him to just agree with you and thank you for ending it, his pride may be hurt, he may be upset - but you are clearly over thinking it. Would you rather he had finished with you? You can't understand that he can't understand - you sound like teenagers who are over invested in their love life.

You don't want to see him anymore.
You have ended the relationship.

THE END

bodenbiscuit · 26/12/2015 19:39

I just thought he would say ok that's fine.

I have AS and tbh I struggle to actually figure out what my own feelings really are about things.

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user7755 · 26/12/2015 19:40

While I agree with what everyone is saying I find your OP a little confusing. It reads to me like you are saying you think about him too much, which I interpret as you like him in more than a casual way - is it possible that he has taken it the same way and given that he wants more, he has got his hopes up?

ouryve · 26/12/2015 19:40

Well, he's just going to have to get used to the idea, isn't he!

AnyFucker · 26/12/2015 19:41

Is it a good idea to try and negotiate these kinds of "casual" relationships if you struggle with the nuts and bolts of them ?

bodenbiscuit · 26/12/2015 19:58

Perhaps, AF. I've had them before with no problem. But this time it seemed more complicated.

OP posts:

bodenbiscuit · 26/12/2015 20:00

Yes I like him more but I also recognise that it's probably infatuation only and will never last. I've tried dating other people but I always compare them to him (sexually). I've ended up thinking it's about time I got over this.

OP posts:

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AnyFucker · 26/12/2015 20:02

Uh-huh

You want more. Do you need someone to tell you that ? ☺

user7755 · 26/12/2015 20:03

That sounds to me like you actually like him in a bit more of a casual way. Is there a reason that this isn't a good thing?

BackInTheRealWorld · 26/12/2015 20:05

Are you sure you don't us to say give it a go?

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