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Casual relationship - won't accept I want to end it

(44 Posts)
bodenbiscuit Sat 26-Dec-15 18:50:41

I've been seeing someone on/off for over a year. We are not suitable for each other for a long term relationship for various reasons.

But I find myself thinking about him all the time and so I decided that probably it's best to stop seeing him. So I told him this and he doesn't seem to understand or accept it. He says I'm 'weird', he can't understand why I can't keep on seeing him. I said because I don't want him inside my head all the time and he said 'well what's wrong with that?'. I don't understand why he can't accept that I need to get over him because I don't want to be hung up on him when it can't go anywhere.

AnyFucker Sat 26-Dec-15 18:53:50

Tell him it's over then don't see/ speak to him again

Anyone has a right end any relationship at any time for any reason

BubsandMoo Sat 26-Dec-15 18:56:29

Why do you need to understand what he can/can't accept? You've decided it's over, then it's over, and you don't need to keep speaking to him any more. Its not your concern what he thinks about it really.

bodenbiscuit Sat 26-Dec-15 18:58:44

It just upset me that he told me I'm weird and not normal. I expected him to understand.

RudeElf Sat 26-Dec-15 18:59:18

He doesnt need to accept it. You dont need his permission. If you say its over then its over. So stop contact. Make it actually be over!

Branleuse Sat 26-Dec-15 19:00:14

because he wants it to stay as it is?

Tbh, it doesnt sound like hes stopping you or being overly clingy or dragging it out forever. Hes just telling you how HE feels about it. Most relationships dont just end without any further discussion

AnyFucker Sat 26-Dec-15 19:00:56

This is an easy one. No kids, no attachments to him. Just end it, no more postmortems.

DeltaZeta Sat 26-Dec-15 19:01:02

You don't need his understanding or his permission. Cease contact - block his mobile number and social media if necessary. Done.

bodenbiscuit Sat 26-Dec-15 19:04:10

Yes I have done. The problem is that I don't like anything to not end 'nicely'

AnyFucker Sat 26-Dec-15 19:05:46

Well if he won't accept it nicely, that is his problem not yours

RudeElf Sat 26-Dec-15 19:18:35

Yes I have done. The problem is that I don't like anything to not end 'nicely'

How many relationships have you had and how many have ended nicely? Quite honestly youre going to need to get over that if you ever respect to get out of a relationship again.

Tbh it sounds like youre the one not accepting this relationship is over.

RudeElf Sat 26-Dec-15 19:19:27

expect not respect.

bodenbiscuit Sat 26-Dec-15 19:29:46

Ok....obviously I want it to end or I wouldn't have said what I did. I'm rather sensitive and did not like being called weird that's all.

bodenbiscuit Sat 26-Dec-15 19:31:19

In the past he's said he wanted it to be more than just sex but that won't ever happen - it wouldn't work

RudeElf Sat 26-Dec-15 19:32:33

Ok maybe i have misinterpretted. Is it possible you want the romantic relationship to end but had hoped you could continue to be friends? It just seems like you want a door left open by having everything sewn up nicely.

AnyFucker Sat 26-Dec-15 19:34:10

You are not weird.

Ragwort Sat 26-Dec-15 19:36:02

Perhaps he is just as sensitive and didn't want you to end the relationship - did you really want him to just agree with you and thank you for ending it, his pride may be hurt, he may be upset - but you are clearly over thinking it. Would you rather he had finished with you? You can't understand that he can't understand confused - you sound like teenagers who are over invested in their love life.

You don't want to see him anymore.
You have ended the relationship.


bodenbiscuit Sat 26-Dec-15 19:39:23

I just thought he would say ok that's fine.

I have AS and tbh I struggle to actually figure out what my own feelings really are about things.

user7755 Sat 26-Dec-15 19:40:33

While I agree with what everyone is saying I find your OP a little confusing. It reads to me like you are saying you think about him too much, which I interpret as you like him in more than a casual way - is it possible that he has taken it the same way and given that he wants more, he has got his hopes up?

ouryve Sat 26-Dec-15 19:40:54

Well, he's just going to have to get used to the idea, isn't he!

AnyFucker Sat 26-Dec-15 19:41:09

Is it a good idea to try and negotiate these kinds of "casual" relationships if you struggle with the nuts and bolts of them ?

bodenbiscuit Sat 26-Dec-15 19:58:48

Perhaps, AF. I've had them before with no problem. But this time it seemed more complicated.

bodenbiscuit Sat 26-Dec-15 20:00:31

Yes I like him more but I also recognise that it's probably infatuation only and will never last. I've tried dating other people but I always compare them to him (sexually). I've ended up thinking it's about time I got over this.

AnyFucker Sat 26-Dec-15 20:02:17


You want more. Do you need someone to tell you that ? ☺

user7755 Sat 26-Dec-15 20:03:19

That sounds to me like you actually like him in a bit more of a casual way. Is there a reason that this isn't a good thing?

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