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anyone else dreading Xmas day?

(15 Posts)
icandothis64 Fri 25-Dec-15 08:43:44

I have woken up this morning in the spare room where I have bee for last six month. STBXH upstairs and teenagers still asleep. SSTBXH are barely speaking ( which is good tbh). Got my parents coming for lunch. They know about impending divorce but DH doesn't know that they know if that makes sense. DH is living in cloudcookoo land and assumes if he ignores all divorce paperwork it won't happen. Even having been saved papers! So he hasn't asked who I have told.
Have told kids and parents to smile through the day and avoid contentious subjects.
Love my parents to bits but can't worst for them to be gone to I can retreat back to my room. Am focusing in next Xmas when hopefully will be in my own house.
What about you guys?

icandothis64 Fri 25-Dec-15 08:46:16

Have decided that whatever faces DH pulls or whatever he says I am going to smile sweetly and try and be lovely. Fake it till you make it.

Rpj16 Fri 25-Dec-15 08:58:47

So is stbxh going to pretend to your parents that all is ok? That you are not getting a divorce? This could be interesting.... And maybe amusing when you look back on it next xmas. Sounds like a channel 5 movie plot!

Hope you will be OK, its only a day though. Perhaps you can rustle up a family emergency in your parents side for you and the kids to go to to escape after dinner

icandothis64 Fri 25-Dec-15 09:13:46

Lol rpj. Will have to give that some thought. Yes my expectation is he will act as if nothing is wrong. I asked him for a divorce 7 weeks ago and I know he hasn't not told any of his friends. Will keep you posted.

icandothis64 Fri 25-Dec-15 12:18:53

Just did the whole present opening thing with kids. He managed not to talk directly to me for a whole hour even in a group conversation. Kids like their presents. That's the man in thing. I can hide in kitchen for next couple of hours until everyone arrives whilst he sulks in his office. Give me strength.

SheerWill Fri 25-Dec-15 12:30:56

My greatest sympathies! This Xmas is just crap. My parents are spending Xmas in their French house. My sister is at her in-laws. My lovely ds is at his dads, this is the first year I've spent Xmas without him in 6 years. I originally made plans to spend the day looking after my nanny instead, but she sadly passed away last week quite unexpectedly. So it's just me (I had to get up and eat as I've got morning sickness) and dp, who has only just got out of bed. Doesn't feel like Xmas at all.

icandothis64 Fri 25-Dec-15 19:50:34

Oh sheerwill. I really feel for you. Xmas dinner and morning sickness are not a good mix. I guess I should Stella myself also for Xmas without the DCs. How old is your DS and do you get to speak to him at all?
From my side, parents just left. LONG DAY. although my dad is so gregarious it made life so much easier. Watching my DH chatting I almost liked him again and then I realised than any interaction between us was him replying to a question I might ask. Nothing in his side. Actually good in many ways and now we have retreated to different rooms
You?

Joy69 Fri 25-Dec-15 20:02:38

This is the last Christmas in my home. Im moving out in the New Year. My stbxh & I have decided to try & make this Christmas the best we can for the kids. All abit emotional when he said this will be the last Christmas that we'll all be together.
That's it really. Feel sad our marriage didn't work.At times like Christmas you remember the good times.
Hope everyone else are ok?

Justdisappointed Fri 25-Dec-15 20:12:59

Hi I am hiding out in spare room at my mums house. First Christmas without DH in 17 years he hasn't even texted me. Mum always takes offence at the slightest thing. Not sure what I'll do next year but not this. Am 47. How sad.

amarmai Fri 25-Dec-15 20:30:52

almost feel sorry for those idiot men who are losing their support system and don't have another one set up to replace! Almost!

icandothis64 Fri 25-Dec-15 20:52:28

Ladies. I feel for you. This will be our last Xmas too together and in this house although my STBXH can't acknowledge that so even unable to agree let's make this a great time. How dad really. I feel like grieving for what could have been as we could have Been. so happy

ConkersDontScareSpiders Sat 26-Dec-15 08:05:17

Our last Christmas all together too.h moving out in two weeks.its all now quite amicable and we actually had a pretty nice day.just felt so sad as even though we do need to split up its the thinking of what might have been.dd's birthday today so another potentially emotional day...keep thinking about the day she was born 10 years ago and wondering where it all went wrong as we were so happy then...am sure wil feel better in a few days once Christmas has died down by it is getting to me a bit at the moment!

whatyouseeiswhatyouget Sat 26-Dec-15 08:36:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

icandothis64 Sat 26-Dec-15 10:41:27

Conkers. I know how you feel. I also spent time selecting present for DH from kids that he would like. He didn't do that with them for me! But I guess I shouldn't feel surprised.

You didn't hijack by the way. Wanted this to be shared experiences. You are right he doesn't want divorce. But only because he doesn't what people to know he messed about with he children's nanny and got caught. Oh and is a functioning alcoholic. So my choice. His fuck up!

He currently sulking because I have made plans for the week with kids so we don't sit around trying to out miserable each other or wait for him to come back from pub! Taking kids to London to see warhorse today at theatre so nice treat to get us out of house.
What about you?

icandothis64 Sat 26-Dec-15 10:44:04

Sorry what you. I called you conkers.

Conkers. That must be really tough. Men are such tw*ts aren't they? That's the thing that makes me saddest. But I have come to realise that I can only control my own boat. So I am no longer going to worry about what his boat is doing as I can't do anything about it. Sorry for rowing analogy. It helps keep me focused as each challenge arises.

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