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Boring texts - sign of him not being into me?

(44 Posts)
DinyTancer Wed 23-Dec-15 23:23:24

Texting guy I met on OLD and have met once, good date but still early days obvs. His latest reply to a text I sent was a boring summary of his day, two lines long. I'm not saying he needs to make it exciting but it just seems to me either that he has nothing to say/is a bit dull, or that he isn't into me!
So for example I'll start a conversation about watching something we both like, he'll just reply saying "I'm doing x now, going to do x later - have you done it too?"
To be fair the previous messages were better.
I'm tempted to cut my losses. Surely at this stage if we don't have anything exciting to say we should call it quits?

DinyTancer Wed 23-Dec-15 23:26:44

Neither of us have had a serious relationship before by the way.

We are both very early twenties. I've had I guess "things" with men in the past but never anything serious. Have been near to a relationship before especially in terms of long "getting to know you" dates/funny texting, which I enjoyed, but normally they were really witty guys!

I consider myself fairly witty when on form...

Seeyounearertime Wed 23-Dec-15 23:28:35

What would you like him to txt?

"Hey baby, bunjee juping right now in tjennude, bit worried I may dislodge my coin purse, butnhey try anything once. Catch you on the flip side, peace out bitch xxx"

Try not texting till you have something worth saying. Day to day stuff is boring.

DinyTancer Wed 23-Dec-15 23:32:41

Ok fair dos!

I don't mean that - I just enjoy wordplay, conversation, getting to know each other in a silly way - does that make sense?

Im not suggesting he has a boring life.

I was hoping this would break the ice a bit and show us each other's senses of humour?

ThreeRuddyTubs Wed 23-Dec-15 23:35:09

Nope if he's boring you now there's no point carrying on. A guy on tinder has a line on his profile saying to message him if you want a laugh and good conversation. My God he's boring hard work. Hasn't asked me a single question yet. I'm not planning on meeting someone who I'm not excited about

Wileycoyote Wed 23-Dec-15 23:35:11

Text as a medium of communication is a dead loss in my opinion for getting to know someone.

orlakielyimnot Wed 23-Dec-15 23:39:17

I think I know what you mean op. When oh and I met we couldn't stop communicating. We have the same sense of humour and being interested in each other meant we naturally were inclined to really engage one another. With other men I dated that spark wasn't there. I remember one terrible pub lunch with a guy I'd been seeing for a few weeks. The conversation died. I actually commented on it and we stopped seeing each other. I think especially in the early days communicating should be fun and driven by a wish to contect.

DinyTancer Wed 23-Dec-15 23:39:44

To be fair to him he always asks questions and is a nice guy. Just not super witty.

DinyTancer Wed 23-Dec-15 23:41:30

The first date was great and we connected. We are messaging on and off now, fairly regularly, just to get to know each other better. I think he's quite shy and I want to see what he's really like if poss smile

He's witty (I know that from other people) and was so kind and lovely and generous - just wish we could find the same things funny!

ovenchips Wed 23-Dec-15 23:43:58

But you had a good date with him! Surely that counts for a lot more?

I wouldn't write him off yet. But think you need to actually be with each other to gauge it.

DinyTancer Wed 23-Dec-15 23:46:08

Yeah it was good but more like a really good interview haha if that makes sense? We got on and there was some kidding but it wasn't, I don't know, electric or really easy company. I don't know if we will grow on each other?

We also met each other briefly a second time which was good but again not that funny - kind of us chatting politely and exchanging info about ourselves.

DinyTancer Wed 23-Dec-15 23:46:35

Kidding = kissing grin

Seeyounearertime Wed 23-Dec-15 23:46:45

I'd arrange a second date OP.

We can't all be cunning linguists with a loquacity even the finest Thespian would be green for.

DinyTancer Wed 23-Dec-15 23:48:40

Fair enough seeyou I'm probably being harsh - it's not a criticism, more like I feel like I'm trying and he's not getting my humour? I don't know. I just think these things are important and a good way of connecting!

ovenchips Wed 23-Dec-15 23:58:15

I think you're overthinking and overanalyzing tbh. I don't see the point in creating this list of possible good things/ bad things. He may be crap at texting, he may be shy, he may not be into you. Who knows?

See him a bit more and see if you like him, see if you click. That will be your answer.

DinyTancer Thu 24-Dec-15 00:01:01

Ok. If he's not into me though there's not much point is there, in carrying things on?

I really really don't want to get hurt sad

Potatoface2 Thu 24-Dec-15 00:04:56

i dont think you can communicate by text....its okay for general chat, but useless for getting to know someone....why arent you phoning each other?

DinyTancer Thu 24-Dec-15 00:09:14

I feel like phone might be too much at this stage smile

Ok maybe I'll chill out on the texting, it's only once a day or so! Just chit chat

RomComPhooey Thu 24-Dec-15 00:16:06

(Delurking to say the overthinking by the OP in this thread is exhausting - stop texting and start talking on the phone or in person. It's so easy for written communication to fall flat, as tone and intent can only be inferred - sometimes misinterpreted. Give the guy a break/a chance and change your approach.)

ovenchips Thu 24-Dec-15 00:20:47

But you don't know if he's not into you! That is just one possible reason for these supposedly dull texts.

You can't get hurt at the mo as you've only met once and exchanged a few texts.

If what you mean is you are frightened of rejection or scared to start your first 'proper' relationship then that's more about you and less about him. Those feelings are natural. We've all had them.

But if you do want to get to know him to see if you like him and he likes you, you are going to have to feel the fear and do it anyway!

BuggersMuddle Thu 24-Dec-15 00:25:54

I wouldn't judge a local person who wasn't exciting in text tbh. Text tend to be pretty factual for me, with odd joke to DP.

Multiple reasons for this:
- I have a serious job. I do not want compromising texts even if the risk is theoretical.
- I just don't 'perform well' on email / text when expected to be funny. Friends find me fairly witty but I guess not under pressure or they're all lying
- I just don't want to communicate anything of importance over text if unnecessary.

Anyway I appreciate I'm probably unusual at 34 as many friends do masses of texting. I prefer to just pick up the damned phone if there's any concern. After one date perhaps not, but he may be cautious about what he puts out there like me.

Threefishys Thu 24-Dec-15 00:29:55

You're an adult woman and you're considering dumping someone based on the quality - of their text messages??? Just stop it grin

Buttercup443 Thu 24-Dec-15 00:31:08

If the date was good then definitely go for a second. He may just not be a guy who is very witty in that medium. Doesn't make him boring.

You're both so young!

FWIW, I find men don't usually text well when they're young. And I wouldn't trust someone who's super good at it and goes snap chatting you all night long. You'd be one of many I think. He sounds decent. Meet him again!!

Atenco Thu 24-Dec-15 00:46:32

One of the wittiest people at writing texts I know is actually quite boring in real life. These are all different skills. By your standards I would never get anyone --Oh wait, I don't have anyone__

Supermanspants Thu 24-Dec-15 03:08:52

Some people just dont really like texting IME. I hate text conversations. Don't see the point of them and really time consuming. My DH hates it to.

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