Never name changed before but have decided to for this.
Have been with Dp for almost 8 years and have a 5yo dd. we own house jointly.
It's been a rough ride in many ways in last couple of years two miscarriages one quite late.
Near the beginning I found stuff on his phone. Dirty pics of ex other bits I wasn't happy with. I also found a few things in his car ....glo sticks....huge amounts of tissues etc and he admitted that he had occasionally been dogging prior to our relationship. 'Voyerism and spectating' as he put it. I called it a day.
Following a huge campaign for months of daily flowers and cards and letters of apology I let this man back in my life. He had a sexual health check and things were never great, always had worry that he might still hide things. I found profiles be it old ones on hook up type sites I read messages nothing that indicated he had met up with anyone but he had never deleted them. We had counselling following this.
This was all years ago but it's always been in the back of my mind that he has the ability to lie.
We have had counselling he's gone along but doesn't seem that receptive. He's a closed book ever since I discovered his 'secret' years ago.
On Wednesday we had a wonderful night away with dd planned. As he was loading the boot of his car I noticed a carrier bag and in it were a pair of old trousers 'uniform' ones. I asked what they were doing in his car and he said he didn't really know must be from when we cleared stuff out of garage a few months ago. We did sort out a load of old uniform etc. they had a couple of marks on them. Nothing really ominous but a couple of small marks. For some reason I lifted the carpet base of his boot and on top of the spare wheel I found another pair identical and folded up. Again a couple of marks. I have a feeling these were trousers we sorted out a few months ago. It appears to me that he's hidden them in his boot. Denies he knew they were there.
He says he will get them tested and proove that the stains aren't semen. I requested he have a sexual health check. He was appalled that I could even suggest that he had been elsewhere. He went along and did this. I'm worried that they may be there, as he has been doing or intends to do what he has done in the past.
I took my daughter on her Christmas treat alone and he refuses to move out. His ds was coming for Christmas and I've cancelled her coming as finding the charade too hard to continue.
He's a fantastic dad no other changes in habits always rather be with family than out. Always wants to be with us. I don't feel there has been affairs I just worry about this seedy side and I hate the thought of being lied to again.
I am early 40's and he's 10 years older.
Don't think I've ever done such s lengthy post. Thanks for reading.
For the first time ever I'm on tablets. Just to get through Christmas. Feeling really anxious. Any help greatly appreciated.
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Firsteverchangeofname · 22/12/2015 10:09
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