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caught DH sexting

(8 Posts)
Lovepolkadots Mon 21-Dec-15 20:17:09

Hello I'm moving over from a posting I made on the divorce thread, bit premature as we are still together. In brief I am married and have been so for 3 years, I've been with my partner for over 10 years and we have 3 beautiful children. He is italian and I have been living with him in Italy for 10 years. A few weeks back I found explicit and loving texts on his phone by chance. When questioned DH confessed to meeting this woman 6 months previously. He claimed she approached him for his number and it went from there. He said he has never actually met up with her and it was just silly texts. We were not sleeping together due to many factors. One being his addiction to porn and the fact he only slept in bed with me once or twice a year. On paper we are a great couple but in private he is very controlling. My kids love their daddy obviously and we have just moved to a beautiful new home. My last scrap of pride tells me I should leave. I found condoms which he then said weren't his. He has begged me for another chance. I slept with him and perhaps that was the emotion of it all. It reassured him he was forgiven. But now a few weeks on I am feeling very doubtful. Im in uk for xmas and honestly I cant face going back even if I wreck everyones lives. Or do I suck it up and carry on. There are 3 little people to consider. confused

goodnightdarthvader1 Mon 21-Dec-15 20:25:29

Er, leave. Obviously.

P1nkP0ppy Mon 21-Dec-15 20:29:50

As pp says, no brainer, leave.

3sugarsplease Mon 21-Dec-15 20:31:08

You deserve better. Leave thanks

TaintedAngel Mon 21-Dec-15 20:33:53


Kids just need a happy Mummy. And you deserve not to be treated like a fool.
You deserve a million times better.

RatherBeRiding Mon 21-Dec-15 20:36:30

Where would the children live? Presumably you'd want them in the UK with you, and I note you are married to their father who, also presumably, would want them in Italy with him? Do they have UK citizenship?

Obviously he's been cheating. And he's controlling. And he's addicted to porn. Not much to stay for is there? I am sure you don't believe the "forgive me" crap.

BUT you need to seek legal advice about country of residence for the children before you make any decisions.

Buttercup443 Mon 21-Dec-15 20:58:39

Staggered release here I'm afraid.

Poor you.

Sexts on his phone, probably not the first woman he's been having it off with.
Condoms etc

What more are you looking for? Catching him inflagranti?

Yes you have a beautiful home, a lovely husband (on paper) and a good life but every day or your life you will get treated less well than you deserve and I think it's a terrible role model for kids who can pick up on this quite well..

I'm sorry you are feeling torn but I believe if you stay with him he'll never cherish you and truly love you. flowers

timelytess Mon 21-Dec-15 22:05:03

You have found sexts and condoms, he doesn't have sex with you.
Time to get rid.

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