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DP's Narc father has no automatic legal right to see our DC, right?

(6 Posts)
RosalieAprile Mon 21-Dec-15 11:07:02

His latest insane ranty email contains threats about going to court because he doesn't need our consent to see his grandchildren.

We're no contact with him. He has never met DC2. He's met DC1 maybe 4-5 times in her life (she's 7). He's never babysat or taken her out on her own. She mentions him maybe once or twice a year and then only in passing.

The backstory is long but basically for DP's entire adult life (ever since leaving home, meeting me and abandoning his father hmm) his father has tried to manipulate him and blame him for all his issues. DP has scores of emails that are nothing but abusive and deluded rantings and ravings. I've always said his father was NPD but this latest one (DP tried to extend an olive branch and offered to bring the DC to visit him over xmas) proves that he is actually mentally unwell imo.

Also, in the past he has threatened to drive up here (a few hours) and demand to see the DC. Once, when DP told him we were going out for DD's birthday, he drove up, climbed over a fence into our back garden and our neighbour caught him assembling a pile of presents in the garden confused.

From what I've read on MN before grandparents don't automatically have rights to see their grandchildren do they?

He is a poisonous, malignant force and I don't want him anywhere near my children. DP has always been more inclined to try and appease him (it is his father after all) but he's now at the end of his tether too and is adamant he won't try again.

Can anyone offer any advice?

RubberDuck Mon 21-Dec-15 11:16:04

Rosalie, does this help?

Sounds like it would be worth keeping copies of all correspondence from him just in case

RosalieAprile Mon 21-Dec-15 11:22:56

Thank you Rubber flowers.

The link confirms what I remember reading, that a "meaningful and ongoing relationship" would have to exist in order for the grandparent to succeed in gaining a court order. DP's father has nothing even vaguely resembling that with our DC. He's little more than a stranger to them.

I have already advised DP to keep all correspondence. Anyone reading it would see a normal person on one side (DP - although he has lost his temper once or twice when his father has abused him) and an unstable, aggressive and deluded person on the other. I am confident that any person who read the emails would have no doubt as to who is in the wrong.

RubberDuck Mon 21-Dec-15 11:27:46

Good luck smile If you're worried about him turning up unannounced, could you perhaps get advice from your local police (on the non-emergency number, obviously)? It may help to give you some peace of mind.

Threesocksnohairbrush Mon 21-Dec-15 11:38:18

Hi, I know a little bit about contact law as an adoptive parent. I don't think there are any special laws about grandparents. As I understand it any adult can ask for leave to apply for a contact order with a child - you, me, Mrs Bloggs down the road. They have to show that they have a meaningful reason to apply to begin with, which he might or might not get as a grandparent.

Then if they're allowed to apply, they have to show that it's in the child's best interests to have contact. Which it sounds like it wouldn't be.

So I think, keep copies of all correspondence and consult a solicitor if you need to. But should be fine, I think. Best of luck.

RosalieAprile Mon 21-Dec-15 13:44:16

Thank you Threesocks and Rubber.

I don't think he would really even attempt legal action as I suspect, despite the extent of his delusion, he knows he doesn't have a leg to stand on.

I just feel awful for DP. He's a good person and a fantastic father and seeing him subjected to such awful treatment from his own father is heartbreaking sometimes.

Will bear in mind your advice about the police too.

Thanks again flowers

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