I have name changed and the reason I'm posting at all is because I can't tell anyone in real life about this. But my head is spinning and I can't get my head around something that happened on Friday night.
So...trying to give as much information as I can without outing myself...
I went out with work on Friday night. It was jointly the staff Christmas meal and my leaving do.
I am leaving my place of work after 8 years because my boss has turned into a bit of a megalomaniac and it became an unpleasant place to work.
My boss and I used to get on quite well. When I joined the company, he was on the same level as me and was appointed to be my mentor. He was supportive and helpful and I learned a lot from him.
Over the years, he has been promoted above me so that now he is the big boss.
We have had some professional differences in the past few years and I feel he has treated me shoddily at times and been a downright bully at others. I had time off with stress and he was enitirely unsupportive. A big part of my drive to leave was because of the way he has treated me (and others) and how he isn't the man he used to be.
After I resigned we had a bit of a frank exchange of views and he ignored me for weeks afterwards. It was childish. He has form for taking people's resignations personally, and he certainly did this time.
So...Friday.
I had a lovely night with my colleagues - many of whom I am going to miss badly. I have had bad times, but on the whole I have been happy there.
When I was leaving at the end, things were a little emotional.
The boss doesn't do emotional. He doesn't do 'touchy feely' he is very reserved and sometimes stand-of fish.
As I was about to leave he asked for a hug, which was weird, but I said of course and gave him one.
He held me very tightly for a little too long and then let out a sigh and whispered in my ear 'I love you. I have to tell you that.'
I totally 'wtf' and just said 'oh bloody hell.' Which, on reflection wasn't the best response to give.
What did that mean though?! I know none of you can tell me, because I know the man and you don't, but what?! And why?! And even if he meant that platonically as if to tell me he valued me as a colleague and would miss me - why say that?!
I don't know what I'm asking for really. I think I just need to get it out. Because it has totally messed with my sense of history and I'm overthinking everything. There have been times when I have felt that he thinks I'm crap at my job and an utter waste of space - that is how he has made me feel for years. So was that a clumsy attempt at an apology or was there something else going on?
Aaaargh. Head is a mess.
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8 replies
Haddocksbathingcostume · 20/12/2015 18:14
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