Not fancying someone not an excuse to be rude to them

[bridie69]

Works Xmas party Fri and I overheard a colleague slagging off a guy who works in another department and who had(perfectly politely) it seems asked her on a date. Fair enough she didn't want to and declined. But she didn't need to indiscreeetly tell her pissed and none too discreet colleague while being imo quite unkind about him how did he think he had a chance etc. And certainly not cackling over him asking her afterwards not to tell anyone as he was so embarassed. I know him only very slightly but he seems very reserved and shy and would be mortified if he knew about this. He wasn't at the do, maybe he was too embarassed to come because of all of it.I just think the least anyone deserves male or female is some basic respect when they haven't done anything wrong themselves. We are talking about people in their 40s btw.

[ThisIsStillFolkGirl]

Sometimes people do it because it's a less boastful way of letting people know they've been asked out and means they get to continue to talk about it in a way that engages other people.

[ThisIsStillFolkGirl]

And you're right, not fancying someone isn't an excuse to be rude to them, but what you have described is being rude about someone which is something a lot of people do in many situations.

[bridie69]

Maybe it is being rude about someone but isn't that also being rude to them as it is changing in a negative way the perception of them by others? I don't know for example if the recipient of this gossip, herself quite drunk, will spread it around further, but it all seems quite unnecessary.

[ThisIsStillFolkGirl]

Well I'm not really sure why you're so bothered about something one of your colleagues has said about another.

All you can do is decide to not be the sort of person who starts or continues gossip and follow through on that.

Tbh, talking about someone behind their back is what you're doing here, albeit anonymously. After all, you're not seeking advice. So you must understand people's motivations to sone extent.