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I had an affair...

(109 Posts)
Outofmydepth15 Sat 19-Dec-15 14:31:52

My head is a mess.
I have a boyfriend and he has a gf and a young 8 moth old child.
Both in our 30s.
We used to date when we were kids but for that reason it never progressed into anything.
We've always been friends but there was a attraction between us.
Over the two year we started texting each other a lot and you could say we began a emotional affair but both wanted more.
He has fallen out of love with gf.
I don't know details and I never asked.
We cut off contact because we both knew we were getting in to deep.
That lasted two months then he text me and we started talking again.
We kept telling ourselves it's only friendship we are doing nothing wrong.

I think this was because I thought if I tell myself we are only friends I won't be the shitty person I am being.
We slept together and pretty much told each other the score.
I didn't want to hurt my boyfriend and he can't face not living with his child.
He went on to say that it's all just so complicated and can't stand this guilt he feels and neither can I.

I understand and wouldn't expect Him too ever walk out on his child.
His child comes before anything I do know this.
I am in love with him and I know it's no excuse for what I've done.
I never started this on the hope to steal Him away from them.

He isn't a dick.He isn't a cheat.
I don't even know how we got to that point.
Anyway we have cut all contact because it couldn't continue like that.
His family are innocent and didn't deserve that.
I know I have no right to feel hurt but I am.
I do love Him but I won't ever contact him again now.
He lives 5 mins away from me and we have been friends for so many years it hurts like hell.

I'm so angry that we threw away a friendship.
I wish I never acted on how I feel.

I genuinely believe his feelings for me were real.
I feel sick at what I've done.

doceodocere Sat 19-Dec-15 14:33:47

He is a cheat. So are you.

You're going to need to get your head around those facts, going no contact is the only way to do it, so you've made a good start. Keep it up.

molyholy Sat 19-Dec-15 14:36:50

He wasn't your boyfriend. Stay nc. It will get easier as time goes on.

magoria Sat 19-Dec-15 14:38:45

His poor girl friend. Busy with their 8 month old child while he goes out messing around with other women.

And he only won't leave her because of the baby.

Let her know what a cheating git he. I bet she thinks all is fine or is wondering why he is off with her right now. Is it because he is tired? She hasn't lost all the baby weight?

She deserves way better than a life with a cheating lowlife git like this.

Outofmydepth15 Sat 19-Dec-15 14:39:29

I've never cheated before and I don't think he has.
I just keep thinking if things were different we could of been good together.
Stupid things like wondering if he misses me etc.
It's stupid.

magoria Sat 19-Dec-15 14:41:00

You have also deceived your boyfriend.

Give him to find someone decent too. Whether OM leave his girl friend or not leave your boy friend to find better.

Supermanspants Sat 19-Dec-15 14:43:50

You again. Reported.

Sirona Sat 19-Dec-15 14:47:23

This sounds awfully familiar.

Supermanspants Sat 19-Dec-15 14:49:08

Doesn't it just Sirona hmm

Outofmydepth15 Sat 19-Dec-15 14:50:57

Reported for what exactly posting a thread.
Get a life seriously.
You don't want to answer a question then don't answer it.
Not rocket science.

loveyoutothemoon Sat 19-Dec-15 14:53:40 this a poor attempt for a poem?!!! Hello again. He isn't a cheat? What planet are you on?

CatBlaster Sat 19-Dec-15 14:53:50

creative writing?

Supermanspants Sat 19-Dec-15 14:54:23

Reported for what exactly posting a thread

Stimpack Sat 19-Dec-15 14:57:41

I'm getting a weird sense of deja vu.

BogusCatAndThePunk Sat 19-Dec-15 15:00:21

Not again…

BogusCatAndThePunk Sat 19-Dec-15 15:01:37

Not you again…

Bubbletree4 Sat 19-Dec-15 15:02:49

Your poor bf. Set him free to find someone who won't cheat on him.

inlectorecumbit Sat 19-Dec-15 15:07:26

yep deja deja vu hmm

Dipankrispaneven Sat 19-Dec-15 15:07:31

Move a long way away to make sure you're completely no contact.

Learningtoletgo Sat 19-Dec-15 15:08:20

Is this the one where he was having sex with her when his wife/girlfriend phoned and get took the call? I'm getting confused confused

ShebaShimmyShake Sat 19-Dec-15 15:11:34

Have you posted a number of threads before about this very same situation?

niceupthedance Sat 19-Dec-15 15:19:17

You need to find something else to occupy your mind. Counselling?

FairNotFair Sat 19-Dec-15 15:19:51

Oh dear...

loveyoutothemoon Sat 19-Dec-15 15:23:51

Has the girlfriend not found out yet? Because she will.

And you still haven't learnt to write properly. Are you five?

rockabillyruby82 Sat 19-Dec-15 15:27:08

I'm getting tired of these threads now. Don't know if you've posted before or if you're a troll but you need to go away before you upset people with your delusional, selfish, ignorant view on what you've done.
You won't get the advice or support you want here.
But here are some flowers for your poor bf and his gf

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