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Feel unbearably lonely

(3 Posts)
Karanka Sat 19-Dec-15 12:30:29

I'm married with 2 DCs. In the last few months I took up a new managerial job, leaving a close knit team where I'd worked for a number of years (there had been talk of restructure and wage cuts/redundancies so I felt I had to make the move when I could). The job has turned out to be much more stressful than I thought, but has not led to much in the way of a salary increase.

I feel like I have absolutely no-one to turn to. I had a number of good friends at my old workplace but I never hear from them any more. We live rurally so don't have any sort of social life, and due to a lack of childcare I have to use my annual leave to look after DCs - I haven't had a proper break from work in over four years. No-one ever calls me to ask to go for a drink or a coffee.

I've tried to speak to DP about this but got nowhere. I feel like I am utterly alone, to the point where I don't think I'd be missed if I was gone. Sometimes I feel my DCs are the only real connection I have.

Does anyone else ever feel this way?

R3alxmastr33 Sat 19-Dec-15 12:56:17

Why dont you get in touch with your old work friends ? email, facebook, phone ? Did you send them an xmas card ? Ask if they want to meet up in New Year ?

If you live rurally are there any local clubs to join ? church, WI, sport, library, knit and natter, local pub, start your own club ?

How about doing Avon, Betterware or ironing or candle selling parties at home, to make some connections

Mumsnet Local ?

You can only try...

SongBird16 Sat 19-Dec-15 12:57:07

It's not unusual to lose touch with colleagues when you change jobs, and it will take time to build friendships with your new colleagues.

If nobody ever phones you to suggest meeting up, could you phone them?

I live as rurally as it's possible to be, and still have a social life. Assuming that you can drive, what is stopping you from getting a babysitter and going out with your DH, or going out with friends and leaving DH at home with the DC, or inviting people over to yours?

I don't understand your point about annual leave. Surely everyone spends their annual leave with their DC, if they have them?

I think the real issue is your dissatisfaction with your new job, and it's highlighting some other issues and making them seem worse.

Take some time to settle in, talk to your line manager about what you need to do your job and, if you feel that it won't improve, look for something else.

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