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works do last night, no wedding ring on Dh this morning

(578 Posts)
Onedayinthesun Fri 18-Dec-15 15:06:33

We have been together 18 years, 2 Dc and an adult Sc.

No trust issues ever, have never even questioned his faithfulness, I have not once been concerned about anything that would point to cheating at no point in our marriage.

He went out last night to his works Christmas party, I heard him come home at 5am. He slept in the sofa in the kitchen last night at 7.30am I told him to go to bed, he was still drunk - no wedding ring on his finger. I found it in his inside pocket of his suit.

Devastated.

There is no point even asking him why - there is only one reason a man would do this.

I couldn't confront anything this morning I needed to get my kids to school and go to work. I'm numb thinking about what he has done last night, Christmas is ruined.

I have to face him tonight and don't want the kids to find out, he doesn't know I have his ring, I can't talk to anyone in rl

MissFitt68 Fri 18-Dec-15 15:08:43

Yes but if he's been with a woman he works with she will have see. The wedding ring on his finger daily! So I'm not sure...

PrivatePike Fri 18-Dec-15 15:09:37

Odd

originalmavis Fri 18-Dec-15 15:11:31

Idve pocketed the ring.

bodenbiscuit Fri 18-Dec-15 15:11:43

Surely there could be another explanation for why he took it off? I would try not to jump to conclusions. Unless you have any other reasons to be suspicious. Surely people he works with would know that he is married?

MaisieDotes Fri 18-Dec-15 15:12:20

there is only one reason a man would do this

I agree with you. Sorry OP.

EElisavetaOfBelsornia Fri 18-Dec-15 15:12:36

I went to a works do last night leaving my wedding ring at home. It was because just before I left DD2 did a massive poo-nami in her leggings, and I took them off to shower her, rushing so didn't put them back on. Maybe don't jump straight to the worst conclusions? If you asked him why the ring was in his pocket, his reaction would probably give you the answer.

shopaholic999 Fri 18-Dec-15 15:15:12

Hmmm does seem a bit dodgy to me..

If certainly keep hold of the ring and make him tell you what his game was!!

Try not to think too much about it all until you have an idea of what's gone on!!

munkynutts Fri 18-Dec-15 15:15:49

I would prepare to be in instinct-listening mode, ask him and watch his reaction closely. Don't jump to a conclusion just yet...

JE1234 Fri 18-Dec-15 15:15:50

I appreciate that your DH would not have been doing the exact same thing but I was at my work do last night and took mine off and accidentally left it behind during a ridiculous messy drinking game we played. There can be other reasons, however unlikely. As a PP said, just ask and his reaction will give it away.

scribblegirl Fri 18-Dec-15 15:18:10

Personally I'd hold on to the ring and when you feel ready to confront, just put it in front of him and ask him to explain.

Sorry you're having to worry about this OP flowers

0verNow Fri 18-Dec-15 15:18:53

STBXH sometimes takes his wedding ring off because it gives him callouses and sore spots (and that's not the reason he's STBX!). He puts it on again after about a week, once his skin is feeling better.

goodnightdarthvader1 Fri 18-Dec-15 15:18:57

Was the do a private party, or was it in a club / pub?

If the latter, much more likely he would have taken it off to "score".

AbeSaidYes Fri 18-Dec-15 15:19:33

Definitely keep the ring.

sooperdooper Fri 18-Dec-15 15:20:15

As others have said, taking it off is irrelevant if he was with someone from work who knows he's married so it doesn't necessarily mean anything - does he often take it off at night? I always take my rings off and don't always wear my wedding ring either!! (DH never notices either way though)

DoorToTheRiver Fri 18-Dec-15 15:25:17

Colleagues would know he was married depending on the size of the organisation but if the party went on to a bar or a club it's not quite so relevant.

I wouldn't accuse him of anything OP, just hand him back the ring, see his reaction and take it from there.

EverybodyHatesATourist Fri 18-Dec-15 15:27:34

I'd keep hold of the ring and not mention it, just to see how long it takes him to own up.
My DH takes his ring off sometimes for work reasons but never (to my knowledge) for a night out.

Onedayinthesun Fri 18-Dec-15 15:30:54

Sorry should have clarified, his ring never comes off, ever.

The Christmas party (about 70 staff) was in a town centre hotel, but they have been known to go on a pub crawl and to a night club afterwards.

What has upset me was his colleague left him a drunken "I love you mate, good night" voicemail at 11.45pm

I know him, and this isn't good

JohnnyDeppsfuturewife Fri 18-Dec-15 15:30:59

Has he lost weight? I lost weight and don't wear my rings because they keep sliding off my fingers.

Garlick Fri 18-Dec-15 15:33:40

Oh dear, Oneday sad I'm sorry you're worried now. I'm afraid I would be, too.

Can I please point out to PP that he doesn't habitually take his ring off? If he did, due to everyday causes, she wouldn't be worried!

I don't suppose he's suddenly lost a ton of weight and it kept falling off? <clutches at straws>

munkynutts Fri 18-Dec-15 15:34:02

"What has upset me was his colleague left him a drunken "I love you mate, good night" voicemail at 11.45pm

I know him, and this isn't good"

Do you mean you're worried about where he was between midnight and 5?

BloodyDogHairs Fri 18-Dec-15 15:34:03

I'd hide the ring and wait to see if he mentions it!

Garlick Fri 18-Dec-15 15:34:47

Oh, shit! His mate said goodnight at midnight and there's another five hours to account?

sad

Onedayinthesun Fri 18-Dec-15 15:35:31

Garlick sadly no, he is a fitness addict, same weight he's always been sad

Garlick Fri 18-Dec-15 15:35:55

xpost re weight loss, Jonny!

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