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AIBU to just tell him where to go with his dictating to me?

(3 Posts)
irrate Fri 18-Dec-15 12:56:46

Apologies for the LONG post but here goes.

EXp has done his usual text around this time of year which goes along the lines of "I am not happy only seeing DD once a week i want to see her during the week/every other day etc etc".

Given our history (not being the bitter one here but a LOT of problems were caused by his now wife) I am keeping things amicable between us for the sake of DD who is 13. Everytime he asks to see DD I give her the choice and it is up to here, sometimes she does, sometimes she doesn't want to go to their house (various reasons the main one lately is that her eldest 2 (both 18) were not around and DD was being expected to mind the youngest 2 (7 & 4) which is not really fair when she goes over to spend time with her dad).

I have explained several times that there is hormones raging and mood swings etc going on and I am not going to force her to do anything she doesn't want to do (within reason of course, she still has to do her chores lol). I have encouraged her to have a relationship with him but to be honest he has never done anything worthy of being called her dad. He never takes her anywhere, shows an interest in her life (other than to quiz her about my and DP up coming wedding, thankfully she is smart enough not to tell him anything) or how she is getting on at school, or anything really.

So, why is it that he thinks he can dictate to me and make me out to be the bad one ("you can't stop me from seeing my child blah blah") when I have done everything in my power to keep up the relationship between him and DD yet I am the one that is going out of my way to do so and that I should have NO plans made at a weekend because he wants to see DD.

I stopped being a doormat a long time ago and am not about to become one again.

Why am I the one that is apparently being unreasonable regarding him seeing DD when he sees her every other saturday from early morning to after tea time, bearing in mind I work full time and sometimes saturdays so I make arrangements to drop her at his mums and he can collect her and 9 times out of 10 he is an hour or more late so any plans his mum has made are changed.

Is it my imagination or is he just a selfish ass?
Am I being unreasonable?

Please be nice as all this carry on has left me on the edge of tears again!

Meow75 Fri 18-Dec-15 12:59:07

He's a dick!!!

Take from that what you will.

irrate Fri 18-Dec-15 13:00:24


You just made me laugh (thank you)

And yes YOU are right he is a DICK smile

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