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Step inside it's the Dating Thread 93

(1000 Posts)
SweetPotato1 Thu 17-Dec-15 01:12:53

Looks like this needed to be kicked off again..

The Rules

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin
3. Do no invest emotionally too soon
4. It's all BS until it actually happens
5. Trust your gut instinct
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you
8. If it's not fun- stop
9. Loo update is mandatory
10. No dating the thread

Lacoba66 Thu 17-Dec-15 01:19:09

Only to say I'm here- lol, but I do have some more tales smile

SweetPotato1 Thu 17-Dec-15 01:43:55

lets hear them Lacoba66!

Thanks for the replies to my post in the previous thread.. my POF profile doesn't reveal too much but does raise enough red flags for anyone who might be baggage adverse.. I was worried this was my problem.

Thanks handy for suggesting you'd laugh at my jokes- very generous..
Interestingly, like Mr Daisy I too am still living with my ex, so it looks like you've got a type wink Although in fairness I'm searching for a new place as a matter of urgency however long this may take

When recounting my online dates, I forgot to mention an encounter with a lady.. met her in RL at the end of night (pub 14 of 12) and got on like a house on fire.. real connection.. chatting intensively while gazing into each others eyes! Of course she was German and just here on a holiday- my luck sad

HandyWiseWoman Thu 17-Dec-15 07:50:23

Thanks for starting a new threat Potato but it needs a new number! This is thread 93

Destiny don't you think your ex was just browsing, stumbled upon your profile and thought he'd see if you would be his 'back burner' girl? Sorry if that sounds harsh. You can block him on the site?

Destinysdaughter Thu 17-Dec-15 07:53:58

I think he just fancied a shag tbh!

Trills Thu 17-Dec-15 07:55:26

Destiny I don't think it sounds like there is anything you will get out of meeting up with your ex - you'd just have an unpleasant evening when you could instead be doing something more enjoyable.

Trills Thu 17-Dec-15 07:56:41

SweetPotato are you actively dating or trying to date while still living with your ex? Do you tell people that's where you live?

WavingNotDrowning Thu 17-Dec-15 12:45:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WavingNotDrowning Thu 17-Dec-15 12:49:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tanyadm Thu 17-Dec-15 13:20:48

Hi all,

I'm going to stick my head above the lurker parapet.... I posted separately a few months ago about someone I had met, that I was having some flirty conversations with - a friend of an old friend of mine.

It died down until quite recently, we got chatting online again, then we were out with the mutual friend and some others two Saturdays ago, and I realised he was being friendlier and smilier than I expected. We both ended up pretty drunk and at some other friends' party, and had a long chat and kissed.

I told him the other week that I thought we should just be friends, as I am not divorced yet (separated August 2014 from my girls' dad, very amicably), and he had said that had made him nervous about getting involved with me, plus he wants children of his own, and as I'm on my own and trying to cope with a full time job and two young daughters, I actually don't know what I want right now.

Anyway, I don't think we should just be friends. He's lovely, warm, funny, cute as, and brilliant company. I really, really like him and want things to develop. We're all going to a birthday party on Saturday night. I'm so nervous!

Stormtreader Thu 17-Dec-15 14:18:20

Hello everyone!
I'm stepping back into online dating but finding it a bit depressing - seems like now I'm 35 the messages aren't bucketing in like they used to!

Are people finding that its gone a bit quiet over christmas, or should I just try more sites? I'm only on okcupid at the moment.

WavingNotDrowning Fri 18-Dec-15 06:52:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PrizeyPrize Fri 18-Dec-15 09:36:13

Just popping my head in to say hello!
Storm have you tried Tinder?

Justaboy Fri 18-Dec-15 09:51:53

Stormtreader Well they do say "the more you advertise the more you trade" prolly not quite the best way to put that as far as OLD is concerned but the wider you throw the net the bigger the catch doesn't seem much better;!

I think there's not a one size fits all dating site, seems the POF is full of chancer's and tinder is for quick hook ups. Match seems to have had some good things said about it as has Guardian Soul Mate's albeit London centric so not one really well recommended one AFAICS but YMMD.

WavingNotDrowning Fri 18-Dec-15 10:05:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PrizeyPrize Fri 18-Dec-15 10:35:52

When would you say texting becomes too often? Lovely guy, seems very sweet. I'm slightly weary because he texts me a bit too much....we've only been texting a couple of days, but he sends me messages like he's my boyfriend already. "Night night, sleep well beautiful, speak to you tomorrow xx", 'Good morning, have a great day beautiful xx' . And generally alot of stuff inbetween. We haven't met yet, probably be in the new year. Would this put you off? Or AIBU?

WavingNotDrowning Fri 18-Dec-15 10:46:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Destinysdaughter Fri 18-Dec-15 10:50:53

Prizey I find it a bit weird when someone you haven't even met is sending you those kinds of texts. To me it's creating a false kind of intimacy and he hasnt even met you! Can you meet him for a coffee to see what he's like in real life? I try not to get over invested in someone until we've actually met as people can be very different to how they come across online.

PrizeyPrize Fri 18-Dec-15 10:52:48

Thanks Waving yeah me too, its a bit invasive tbh. I'm all for funny banter, but this is leaving me a bit cold. My spidie senses are serving me well wink
Oh no what is Mr Soho up to? When was the last time you heard from him? Strike up some convos with others, distraction always works for me.

PrizeyPrize Fri 18-Dec-15 10:55:51

destiny yeah its bit weird definitely. Can't meet for coffee until after the Christmas now, but to be honest, I'm kind of put off him with all this 'text-bombing'. Meanwhile - I'm in process of arranging a date with a Spanish teacher in the new year - Mr Ola!

WavingNotDrowning Fri 18-Dec-15 11:49:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PrizeyPrize Fri 18-Dec-15 12:21:21

Oh I don't know Waving, sounds like he's gone that weird 'cold feet' way. I'd wait, I'd not text, its not playing games its just not looking like you are desperate for him. Light and breezy! He on the other hand is playing games, so don't engage. I'd definitely wait for him to get intouch.

WavingNotDrowning Fri 18-Dec-15 13:11:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JollyXmasJumper Fri 18-Dec-15 13:39:43

Hello all! Glad I found where you lot were hiding - thank you for opening a new thread.

I am still alive and breathing after my 36 hours long date with Popcorn but I do not seem to be able to think with a clear head, so will post my report later on. <place marking: check>

Prizey yes that is a bit OTT so I would think he has a soppy side and owns it ... or he thinks that it will get him quicker to bed

Waving I would wait and maybe send an inoffensive "feeling any better?" type of thing over the weekend if nothing happens

Destinysdaughter Fri 18-Dec-15 18:43:16

God I hate all this game playing! I'm probably a bit older than some of you so remember what dating was like before mobile phones and OLD and, although it had it's problems
(E.g a man chasing you and turn when he'd had sex, losing interest ), it was more straightforward than this. Men just didn't have access to lots of women like they do now and had to actually approach you for real!

Anyway I've got a sex date tonight with someone I met at a party who's a much younger ( and rather attractive ) man, just cleaned and tidied the house and now having a glass of white wine! smile

Still not heard from bastard ex, but I've got 2 dates lined up next week so keeping busy!

Have you all seen the Baggage Reclaim website? It's about dating and relationships and it's brilliant! I've really learned a lot from it.

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