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I have a crush

(5 Posts)
Peonylass Tue 15-Dec-15 11:23:26

I have been with my second husband for 14 years. He's a sulker and can be very lazy. It can 've quite toxic at times. We look after 2 kids and my husband is getting g rumpier as time goes on. He's almost like my teenage son.

Things have come to a bit of a head as I'm not coping with keeping the family going. So we are starting couples counselling in a few days, through my work EAP program

The only thing is that I have developed a huge crush on a n acquaintance who I have to talk to regularly. I don't think it's reciprocal, but I am getting heartache every time I have to deal with them.

What do I do? It will pass eventually I am sure, but in the meantime this really hurts.

justgoandgetalife Tue 15-Dec-15 16:35:24

Be very very careful! I had a crush when going through a hard time with DH [still having a hard time, but that's another thread entirely!] on a family friend a few years back.

Things developed albeit platonically and I confided in him a lot at the time. DH and I are both still friends with crush. [I also know more about crush than I did then - and I don't like what I see at all, so totally don't fancy him any more. In addition, we introduced him to his now GF over a year ago and they are still blissfully in love, so as a result neither DH nor I see him that much right now]

It will pass, but for me it took a year or so [yes really!]. The crush was never ever reciprocated - I think he must have known I fancied him but as a principled guy, he would never have allowed it to develop beyond an 'advisor' capacity, and even that is debatably over-stepping the boundaries when dealing with unhappy middle-aged married women!

If you did act on your crush you will be more likely to make a tw@t of yourself, so try to enjoy the attention a little maybe, but please realise that it is the mere fact that he's paying you attention that's the attraction.

Hard advice but hope it helps?

Peonylass Tue 15-Dec-15 19:36:25

Yes I agree, the guy is showing me attention (but not in that way) and he's funny, practical and proactive. Things DH is not.

I have to deal with the guy every few days as he is doing work on my home, and I am heart sick every time.

Intheprocess Tue 15-Dec-15 21:10:15

Peonylass, the problem is your DH. You're trying to fill the void left by his inability to make you feel loved. The crush will pass if you don't act upon it, but the void will remain unless your DH changes.

Peonylass Wed 16-Dec-15 09:43:04

That's probably true. I am not sure if he's want to

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