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why is he so angry at me?

(14 Posts)
FlaminSnowball Tue 15-Dec-15 08:49:45

Quick background. I found out in the summer my then DP had slept with someone. After much deliberation we decided to try and make it work.

6 weeks ago when I was going through a hard time at work he dumped me. Said it wasn't working for him anymore and lefts heartbroken having to rebuild a new life and move etc.

Since then he's constantly angry at me. He said he didn't love me in the way he should but cared deeply. I don't understand why he's so angry with me when he finished it and didn't want to work it out?

HappyGirlNow Tue 15-Dec-15 08:51:34

Taking his guilty out on you... Sorry you're hurting.

FlaminSnowball Tue 15-Dec-15 08:52:35

He's just been so nasty and I don't understand it. I've been devastated.

shoeaddict83 Tue 15-Dec-15 08:53:58

probably because he feels guilty but needs to project that guilt onto you and make you feel like you made the relationship bad enough to cause him to cheat.
He finished it - i take it you weren't married and have no kids? If not then you have no ties so block his number, dont have him on social media etc so he hasn't the opportunity to be angry at you.
He chose to cheat and finish it so let him get on with his life and he can project those feelings elsewhere - you shouldnt have to deal with this.
ignore the prick and find someone whos worth your time flowers

PurpleDaisies Tue 15-Dec-15 08:55:39

Do you have any reason to stay in contact with him? It sounds like some distance would be a good thing right now. His anger is probably a coping mechanism for dealing with the break up. I'd try not to see him if he's behaving like that.

Justmuddlingalong Tue 15-Dec-15 08:57:41

Perhaps you should have less contact with him. If you're no longer in a relationship, his anger shouldn't be impacting on your life. He's probably angry because of guilt. He cheated, caused you hurt and when you needed support he didn't step up. He sounds incredibly selfish. flowers for your broken heart, but it will heal and you will be happy again.

ivykaty44 Tue 15-Dec-15 08:59:20

I don't understand why you would know he was still angry with you? There shouldn't be a need for contact, even with dc just hand over the dc and only talk about them.

FlaminSnowball Tue 15-Dec-15 09:01:04

We have reason to at the moment as I live in his house with my 8 year old DS. I'm planning on moving out as soon as I can in the new year. I sold most of my stuff to move here and changed my sons school to be with him. An hour away from where we were.
As soon as I move out I'll be blocking him.

He's heard I've been out and about with friends and possibly had a date and as soon as he heard this he's texting me.

Luckily he has another house he's been staying in so I don't have to see him.

Sparkletastic Tue 15-Dec-15 09:04:47

He fucked it up but has to make it your fault.

Justmuddlingalong Tue 15-Dec-15 09:04:57

Oh he's playing the 'I don't want you, but I don't want anyone else to want you either' card. Do whatever makes you happy. He no longer has any right to know about your personal life. Tell him that.

FlaminSnowball Tue 15-Dec-15 09:07:26

I've been trying to not engage with him at all. I won't answer his calls.

He texts and if it's something we absolutely have to discuss I'll reply.

However when I don't reply I get are you ignoring my texts now? And then a flurry of nasty comments

I can't win !

ivykaty44 Tue 15-Dec-15 09:09:14

Friends or so called friends have been telling him you're out and about and possible dates, play your cards close to your chest and don't let him know what you're doing.

Play it very calm and don't say a word - this is to protect yourself.

Threefishys Tue 15-Dec-15 09:12:18

I'd get Christmas over with and get out of his house. The underlying reason he's angry is probably because the relationship is over but you're still in his house and therefore his life. You'll feel better once you're out and likely not hear from him again.

FredaMayor Tue 15-Dec-15 09:23:43

You're on a hiding to nothing if you let a blamer engage with you. Don't let this man dump his own guilt and urge to blame onto you. Nothing he can say is of any interest to you if he can't be civil.

Why are your responding to his texts? He has lost the right to access to you, and you need this time to heal and move on by attending to your own needs not his. Completely remove yourself from him.

Nothing is so important that he can't write a letter to you, that way he will be less likely to go off on one than in an email (where he copies and pastes his rantings) because its a formal written record.

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