Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

please tell me I'm right (unless I'm not)

(137 Posts)
Bloodyhellfire123 Mon 14-Dec-15 20:42:01

Just been for a scan, should be at least 10 weeks pregnant but measuring too far behind..diagnosis missed miscarriage. Scheduled in for an op on friday under general anaesthetic.

Need someone to pick me up and stay with me afterwards.
Obviously assumed dp would be there for me. He's made it clear I'm an inconvenience to him. Actually asked if I could reschedule til next week when he's off work. Then when I said no asked if I could just take the tablets to make it pass (painful and according to consultant only 30% success rate). Then he said he couldn't get away from work early so I'd have to wait at the hospital for a couple more hours.
I cried and said he was putting work before me. He said I was being a dick.
He begrudgingly said he'd do it. I can't believe he's making me feel guilty. I think he's also pissed off coz he was meant to have a work night out on Friday (not official christmas do) and will feel like he can't go. If he does go. ..I'll be furious.

I'm not in the wrong here am I? !

user7755 Mon 14-Dec-15 20:44:09

No, you're not. He's a dick.

tribpot Mon 14-Dec-15 20:46:11

Is there anyone else who can help you? Because I don't think you should have this callous shitbag anywhere near you ever again whilst going through this.

So sorry for your loss.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding Mon 14-Dec-15 20:46:47

Hes a huge waste of space. Mean.

What are his good qualities?

Goingtobeawesome Mon 14-Dec-15 20:47:12

I'm so sorry for your loss but I hope you've also lost this twat and that would be a good thing.

Madlizzy Mon 14-Dec-15 20:47:53

What a horrible man! Be furious and stay furious.

DragonsCanHop Mon 14-Dec-15 20:47:56

I'm speachless.

So sorry for your loss, do you have a friend you can lean on? I wouldn't want him around after that, how low can he make you feel at such a horrible time.

I had a MC in the same way as you over Christmas many years ago, it felt so much worse because of the time of year.

Try and take care of yourself looks like your not going to get it from the one that matters

And, some men are really shit at handling it when their partner MCs, but that really is no excuse for not wanting to give you the basic level of love and care.

LeaLeander Mon 14-Dec-15 20:48:04

You are not in the wrong.

And when you go in for your procedure, I would also consult about highly effective birth control. A man who thinks your medical needs are a nuisance to him is NOT one to be fathering your children. Please. How would he treat any potential kids - the same?

ElfOnTheBoozeShelf Mon 14-Dec-15 20:48:33

Having had two miscarriages, I'm furious for you.

Arrange someone else to help you, and get rid of this hideous creature immediately.

So sorry for your loss. X

MsPavlichenko Mon 14-Dec-15 20:49:02


Bloodyhellfire123 Mon 14-Dec-15 20:50:09

We've been together 2 1/2 years. We have one dc.

This is my second miscarriage. He was emotionally rubbish with the first one but I can't believe even picking me up from hospital is such a huge deal. When I tried to talk to him about why he was so annoyed about it he said "oh shut up, you're boring me now"

Bloodyhellfire123 Mon 14-Dec-15 20:53:02

Work is super stressful and busy for him this week. And he took all of last week off to do something I wanted to do. So I kind of get why he's being so stressy and got annoyed that I said work was more important for me...but I didn't plan a sodding miscarriage

cece Mon 14-Dec-15 20:54:17

You are not in the wrong here.

I would organise for someone else to pick you up from the hospital and let him fuck off to the far side of fuck and when he gets there he can fuck off a bit more.

SirRaymondClench Mon 14-Dec-15 20:55:06

I'm so sorry to hear about your MMC Hellfire flowers

I had very similar happen with an XP. I actually waited two hours on my own to be collected (he was late on top of working). I will never forget standing there feeling horrendous and lonely (and pitied by the staff).
I never forgave him.
I think that relationships have pivotal make-or-break moments sometimes that can come about unexpectedly but leave you completely aware of where you really stand with someone. This is one of those pivotal moments.
Please get someone else to be with you at this time and help you through this. Not this man though.
He is an utter cunt.
I am sorry you're going through this.

Smorgasboard Mon 14-Dec-15 20:55:57

The only thing wrong is that you are in a relationship with him. This is a flashing red sign that says "dump".

Parker08 Mon 14-Dec-15 20:56:46

Im so sorry. Run away fast.

magoria Mon 14-Dec-15 20:56:53

Please make sure after this you belt & braces to make sure you don't get pregnant by this vile excuse for a human again if you stay with him.

Preferably life is too short. Get rid.

staffiegirl Mon 14-Dec-15 20:59:10

I'm open-mouthed with shock at your D P's callousness. He sounds absolutely dreadful. I'd kick the bastard to the kerb

I'm sorry for your loss and sorry that you don't have any support from the person who should be there for you right now. I hope you have someone else to help you through this.

What an insensitive cold-hearted unsupportive self-centered arrogant hurtful bellend he is. Jesus Christ!!!

I'm so sorry for your miscarriage darling flowers You don't deserve to be treated like this now by the one person who really should be there for you.

Bloodyhellfire123 Mon 14-Dec-15 21:01:40

Thank you everyone xxxxx this is what I needed earlier when I was having a good sob on my own

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight Mon 14-Dec-15 21:03:16

He's a disgusting human being isn't he? I bet he's a shit in plenty of other ways too. I'm sorry for your loss but I really think this should be a wake up call for you, he's really foul. The way he has treated you should be unforgivable.

Marchate Mon 14-Dec-15 21:07:06

Work stress is never an excuse for nastiness

AnyFucker Mon 14-Dec-15 21:07:46

ugh, he is vile

when you have recovered from this miscarriage (physically at least) are you planning staying with this twat ?

if he can't be there for you at your very lowest ebb, what is the fucking point of him ?

honeyroar Mon 14-Dec-15 21:10:00

He is being dreadful. And he sounds like he is regularly. Why would you bother with him. He's showing his true colours, he's not there for you, he's not thinking about you or what you're going through.

Justaboy Mon 14-Dec-15 21:10:15

Blokes a first class twat! No bloke should treat his lady like that. No one!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now