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think marriage may be over

(7 Posts)
AngryWildChild Mon 14-Dec-15 07:56:31

DH and I had a bit of a whirlwind start 4 years ago. Quickly lived together married within a year. Seemingly perfectly suited to each other. Rarely had even so much as a cross word. Became pregnant fairly quickly after the wedding (unplanned) put a huge strain on the relationship the whole dynamic changed. I completely went off sex far too tired n uncomfortable. DH has always had a high sex drive and without he gets really low self esteem whole other thread. Any way dd was born things seemed OK for a while but my sex drive never returned. atall! Dd is now 10 months and DH says he feels are more friends than husband and wife. Recently found out my grandad is terminally ill, he hasn't spoken to me since just before dd was born. Have been told he has only a few days left. Last night DH got incredibly drunk leaving all care of dd to myself when to be honest all I wanted to do was hide away in bed and try to process everything with my grandad. Whilst drunk he then reiterated his point that we are just mates and went and slept on the sofa. I'm so angry with him yet somehow he's trying to turn it around that it's me that's unreasonable, as he works full time has early starts late finishes that he needs to let his hair down n that during these times I should be looking after dd through the night and that I was out of order for getting him to deal with her at 4 this morning after she had had me up 4 times already. Don't really know why I'm posting just needed somewhere to vent!

AngryWildChild Mon 14-Dec-15 07:56:55

Excuse grammar/typos it's been a long night

Jan45 Mon 14-Dec-15 14:36:08

He's a selfish git who thinks with his penis, in fact his attitude towards you should ensure no sex for the foreseeable, does he think you are his slave.

Talk to him later now he's sober and grow up!

Jan45 Mon 14-Dec-15 14:36:28

tell him to grow up I mean.

ButtonMoon88 Mon 14-Dec-15 14:46:07

I will possibly be one of few that thinks this but I don't blame your DH for feeling this way, although he should be handling it better.

You once had this very impulsive life that is now very different. Just because baby has arrived, his sex drive and passion hasn't gone out the window, why should it?

I'm sorry you are feeling crap, I was too, I had stitches after DD but just because I wasn't up for sex didn't mean DH wasn't. You have to talk to Him, listen. Do you still love and fancy him? Can you go out for dinner or why not buy a new dvd for you to watch together one evening.

Re your grandad. Does your DH know how you are feeling? If not tell him!

Handywoman Mon 14-Dec-15 15:02:04

Well a hell of a lot has happened hasn't it? Time to take stock rather than throw in the towel. Time to really start communicating. So sorry to hear about your grandad. thanks

Cabrinha Mon 14-Dec-15 15:59:05

Your comment about him having a high sex drive and going without gives him low self esteem "whole other thread" - frankly, I think you need to start that whole other thread.

I can see what a PP means about there being a lot of changes and maybe you shouldn't throw in the towel.

But a part of me has a sneaking suspicion that he's a manipulative arse "oh you HAVE to sleep with me or my self esteem suffers" - hmmmm.

I've been the one whose husband refused sex btw, I'm not saying it doesn't effect self esteem, it bloody did mine! But... I think you need to explore that some more as I'm not sure whether I'm sympathetic to both of you, or think he's manipulative.

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