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upset on a big number birthday

(12 Posts)
yummytummy Sun 13-Dec-15 22:40:40

So it was a big birthday today. I am lucky to have some really thoughtful friends so had a nice meal and some lovely gifts. I know i should focus on that.

But i feel really hurt and upset that my mum didn't call or send a birthday message. It has been a very difficult relationship with my parents as they are essentially very selfish. When I was in a very bad dv marriage they looked the other way and blame me for not holding on to my husband. They have never helped emotionally or practically since i have been a single parent

But lately my mum had been making more effort she has got whatsapp and had been messaging and I had said about birthday meal etc.

I just feel very very hurt that she couldn't even send a brief message and i can't get past the upset

Please any advice as it has really leftme upset

IamlovedbyG Sun 13-Dec-15 22:48:17

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

yummytummy Sun 13-Dec-15 22:51:05

No and I honestly thought things were improving. I feel like shit

Sandbrook Sun 13-Dec-15 23:06:19

Happy birthday. I'm sorry your mum hasn't been in touch flowers

Imbroglio Sun 13-Dec-15 23:18:58

I'd have been upset too.

Do you think your mum might have felt jealous/left out by you having a lovely birthday meal with friends?

yummytummy Mon 14-Dec-15 06:14:04

I don't think so as she is abroad on holiday and we had a meal before she went. I just don't get it. I feel like its the last straw and trying to have a relationship will only cause pain. I just can't deal with it

BikeRunSki Mon 14-Dec-15 06:16:54

Has she contacted you at all since she has been on holiday?

Maybe her phone isn't working over there?

AttilaTheMeerkat Mon 14-Dec-15 07:06:15

No, her phone is more likely than not to be working.

Your mother yummy is inherently selfish and thus cannot be bothered with you. She only cares about her own self. Your second paragraph in particular says it all about them really, they cannot be at all relied upon.

It is NOT your fault they are the ways they are; you did not make them that way.

Some people are really past masters of ,"come closer so I can hurt you again". Concentrate your energies instead on the people who make you feel better, not emotional vampires like your mother.

yummytummy Mon 14-Dec-15 08:25:59

Phone is working as she had messaged the day before. I know i should try not to care anyone else i wouldn't buy i guess i was stupid to expect my mother to care. It hurts more since being a parent as i could never treat my kids thst way. I just feel so alone even though i have some good close friends but i will always have sadness that I don't have a mother. I feel consumed with pain

pallasathena Mon 14-Dec-15 12:05:32

Did you get a birthday gift and card?

ColdWhiteWinePlease Mon 14-Dec-15 13:36:06

As she's on Hols and not in her usual routine, maybe she didn't realise what day it was? You may get a message today/tomorrow full of remorse? Is she generally forgetful? My Dad might forget my bday if Mum wasn't there to do all the stuff associated.

yummytummy Mon 14-Dec-15 14:01:54

I guess she could have forgotten with being away etc but they usually are away this time of year and me and kids are totally alone every xmas and birthday so they do usually try to ring or message on the day

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