Because he can't cope with actually having to be a parent for more than 5 minutes before getting cross and acting like a petulant manchild.
He has found a place to move to and is moving out first week after Christmas. I have been wobbling to and fro for the last few weeks worrying it was the wrong decision and fearing that we would be messing up our DCs childhoods but how the hell can us living apart be worse than us being together, being mostly fine and then him slamming doors and calling their mother names in front of them? It just can't.
Can I please have three dry and dirty martinis Carcass? With olives
He, as usual, muttered a solitary "Sorry" at me and then acted like nothing was wrong. This morning he brought me tea. In the past (and there have been numerous other similar events) I've ended up minimising what's happened and getting back to a version of normal. A version where each time I end up with a bit less love and respect for him. Sod that.
I'm very worried about money, I'm not working at the minute. I don't know if I'd be entitled to any benefits. This is all new territory for me. I did just cancel three unnecessary direct debits saving myself £45 a month. That's a good start.
Have a look at entitledto.co.uk Have you spoken to a solicitor? CAB can help you as well. Once he has gone you will get a reduction in council tax so get that in motion. Look at every bill and see where you can cut things. When my Ex left I had to manage entirely on my own. I reduced bills and insurances etc... by loads.
Finances first, income & expenses, savings & housing costs. Then see a solicitor with that information. Once you have the finances worked out the rest will fall into place. Especially if you think he'll be difficult about maintenance for the children.
It'll all work itself out. Perhaps not in the exact way you want or are planning. But it will work itself out and you'll have peace in your home at last.
You are doing the right thing. I wish I hadn't had to listen to my father calling my mother every name under the sun my entire childhood. I used to call children in the playground 'shitbrain', 'piece of shit' and 'stupid fucking cunt'. Why not? Dad called Mum those things and more and then told us it wasn't a big deal.