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Worried about Dsis

(6 Posts)
SausageSmuggler Sun 13-Dec-15 00:35:23

This is long as don't want to miss anything (sorry).

Dsis (19) has a long history of MH problems, almost crippling anxiety and depression, blackouts, self harm, frequent trips to A&E. During this time she had her first serious bf who also suffered from depression etc. At the time he seemed very nice, looked after her when she self harmed, appeared supportive, my DC's adored him.

He broke up with her a few months ago by text calling her some horrific names (bearing in mind he previously said he wanted to marry her and was besotted with her). It would also seem that he could sometimes be very nasty to her and left bruises where he grabbed her wrists in anger.

She was devastated by the breakup but kept going and is now on new anti-d's and is doing really well, learning to drive, spending lots of time with friends etc. For the first time in a long time she seems happy.

Now I'm sure you've worked out where this is heading, she phoned me today saying they are meeting up next week and that they both still love each other. I don't think they've actually got back together so I may be jumping the gun but it seems a real possibility. Dm and I have both taken the stance of she is an adult so can make her own decisions but to be wary. In truth though I am very worried that the drama of their relationship could pull her back down when she is finally getting her life together. He has apparently had therapy but I still haven't forgiven the way he treated her.

Is there anything I can say or do to help her look at this a bit more clearly? Or do I need to just keep quiet and smile at him through gritted teeth?

CuffsAndCollar Sun 13-Dec-15 09:37:36

Bumping up for you.

BeccaMumsnet (MNHQ) Sun 13-Dec-15 16:53:04

We'll pop this over to Relationships now for you OP.

SausageSmuggler Sun 13-Dec-15 17:20:15

Thank you!

hefzi Sun 13-Dec-15 22:10:24

Lordy. I'm sorry - I have absolutely no advice on this one, but am hoping my post gives it a bump. I guess all you can do is be there for when it all goes wrong - sorry if that sounds cynical, but you and I both know these sorts of relationships rarely end well sad

SausageSmuggler Sun 13-Dec-15 23:51:26

Thanks. My mum and I have both said we're worried she'll get hurt again to which she (Dsis) replied 'isn't that the risk in any relationship?' Yes but not when you go back in knowing that he has physically hurt you and has called you all names under the sun.

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