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Dam Facebook.....what would you think or do?

(13 Posts)
Tottie24 Fri 11-Dec-15 23:59:20

So I met a guy at the end of October, just enjoying dating and having fun together, not really talked much about our past relationship, just a bit about where we have been and what we have done, having both lived abroad and come back for the same reasons I feel we really get each other, the most important things to me seem to be the the same for him.. I'm 9years older than him and have 3 kids, had been with exH for 13 yrs, single for 2 1/2 and now him, first since exH. Scary for me!

Anyway tonight I realise an old friend of mine is friends with a good friend of his, so he finds out for me what he is like... And yippee he is who he says he is, which I though was the case, I hadn't actually gone out to try and make a connection to dig about him, just one of those things that came up. All hunky dory so far

Then I discover an ex they appeared really together via photos and the comments put on the photos, her profile pics were always of the two of them, anyway the last one had been uploaded end of September, changed to one on her own a 2 days after he had met me... We met on a drunken night out, messeged for a couple of weeks before having a date....

He isn't of Facebook

I'm worried he could be on the rebound..... I may be just a distraction after breaking up from this relationship that looking at all the pictures looked ideal and she looked beautiful, fun and lovely... What would you do?

IamlovedbyG Sat 12-Dec-15 00:23:13

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Tottie24 Sat 12-Dec-15 00:29:38

Thank you I'm trying, I'm so not normally this neurotic.... I usually just go with the flow with most aspects of my life, but guess this is new and I'm terrified of being hurt again. And I'm fully aware that if he gets wind of this it isn't something he would find attractive, though when I see him or we are messaging, I feel things are good and I don't worry!

RiceCrispieTreats Sat 12-Dec-15 08:48:42

Everyone looks beautiful, fun and lovely on Facebook. And every relationship on Facebook is portrayed as the equivalent of hearts and rainbows streaming out of a unicorn's arse.

Facebook is not reality.

And you are focusing your thoughts into a very unhealthy rut by fixating on this. You know this.

It's all too easy to drive ourselves nuts thinking of partners with their exes, or of exes with their current partners. It's normal and human, but: step away from the crazy-making thoughts! They will do you no good!

Cabrinha Sat 12-Dec-15 09:33:16

My boyfriend couldn't change his fb messenger photo of him and his ex - sitting in a restaurant together looking like the perfect couple, very photogenic, all smiles and prettier than me.

Who cares? Looks are just one part of us. He likes me more.

Tottie24 Sat 12-Dec-15 09:55:43

Thank you for responding, it more the time or lack of from the previous relationship ending and me coming along that is bothering me.... I think!

Tottie24 Sat 12-Dec-15 09:56:52

And would that lack of time be of concern to you?

Threefishys Sat 12-Dec-15 10:02:04

Yes. However doesn't mean it won't work.

Allofaflumble Sat 12-Dec-15 11:04:31

hearts and rainbows streaming out of a unicorn's arse grin

Threefishys Sat 12-Dec-15 12:10:11

Best line on MN 2015 grin

Tottie24 Sat 12-Dec-15 12:13:30

I love it too... Shall be repeating to myself every time I'm having a wobbly daft moment!

pocketsaviour Sat 12-Dec-15 12:51:08

Do you know if he finished it, or she did? If she did I would be slightly more concerned, but I don't necessarily think there's any problem here.

You've only been seeing him 6 weeks. I would just carry on and enjoy yourself smile

Trills Sat 12-Dec-15 13:00:55

Any other man you meet might ALSO have recently come out of a relationship, and you just wouldn't know it.


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