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I think i need to leave

(9 Posts)
findmeacupboard Thu 10-Dec-15 21:50:31

Back story... married 2 years own our home no dc. Had issues for a long long time.

Have posted for advice before but still have been unable to deal.with the situation...

I dont know if i wanna be with my husband anymore, wev tried working at our relationship and its still no better. And just lately hes being really overly clingy to a poit of me snapping at him to give me a bit of space.

I feel like i love him but arent in love with him anymore. Our sex life is shocking, he hasnt been able to turn me on in a long time. But he looks after me so well and really is in love with me but i just cant figure out if i feel that or whether the love i have is that been together a long time kinda love. :-(

ILiveAtTheBeach Thu 10-Dec-15 22:24:08

Sit him down for a proper talk.

Morganly Thu 10-Dec-15 22:43:29

That I love him but aren't in love with him line is bollocks. "In love" is a temporary rush of heightened emotion at the beginning of a relationship and after a few years it is perfectly normal for this to settle down into proper real grown up love.

Also "he hasn't been able to turn me on for a long time" is mean. If you don't fancy him any more, that's you not him.

If you've gone off him and want out, that's allowed but don't blame it on him. Be kind, be decent. If you want to keep trying, get some counselling. If you want out, make the decision and then get on with it so that he can recover and find someone who will love him properly.

ClassicMonkey Thu 10-Dec-15 22:49:23

What Morganly said x10.

jessicame Fri 11-Dec-15 07:33:23

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

hellsbellsmelons Fri 11-Dec-15 08:59:24

Apart from sex, what other issues have you had?
Do you go with friends and family?
Do you have a hobby that gets you our of the house for some 'ME' time?
You could try counselling, together or on your own to go through these feelings and find out what you want.
It sounds to me like you were in love but now you just don't fancy him.
Is it that everything he does annoys you?

findmeacupboard Fri 11-Dec-15 10:04:48

No not everything at all. I just dont like the clinginess. I know its not all him at all, im not trying to say it is and i know i do stuff wrong. I feel like as were growing up were turning into different people and i guess im trying to figure out if we still work together.

I love the intimacy and cuddles and stuff we have and tbh when were cuddling and kissing and stuff it makes me really wanna sleep with him but then it just never goes the way i hope so to speak.

We have hobbies together and seperately, i make time for friends and family whenever i can, i think its maybe just that because i only get 2 or 3 nights a week off i feel like ges monitonising my time even though hes not really.

pocketsaviour Fri 11-Dec-15 11:22:27

it just never goes the way i hope so to speak.

What does this actually mean?

He can't sustain an erection?
He doesn't want to have sex and keeps turning you down?
He refuses to do the things you ask him to do in bed, e.g. oral?

findmeacupboard Fri 11-Dec-15 12:08:27

He really tries and i try and show him what i like but he just doesnt seem to be ablw to get it right and its always over really quickly, the other week there was like 10 minutes of foreplay all on me then the sex was over in 20 seconds

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