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Row about pc usage. Not sure I can do this anymore

(12 Posts)
Snowyxmastree Thu 10-Dec-15 09:54:56

Back story is 4years ago DH cheated on me very brief EA turned physical hugely regretted it and we reconciled.

Before the EA things were dire between us and I had got the point where I couldn't stand being with / around him as he is quite self centred and came across to me as only cared for himself.

When we reconciled things became good pretty much over night and we got along a lot better and were happier. His attitude changed and he was out to please me.

Things have now gone stale again, I love him but everything he does at the moment just seems to annoy me.

I need to address the work/life balance with him, I tried last night and it didn't go well.

He had been working a lot of hours at work by choice. His choice and he was over worked, we spoke about it and he has reduced his hours slightly and now doesn't work the weekends. Previously he was quite often working 7 days weeks.

When he comes home from work I except he needs to have his own down time doing what he wants ect. But recently it's become quite excessive spending huge amounts of time away at the pc or on his xbox.

We had a huge argument two weeks ago when he spent the whole day on his xbox with his headset on chatting to his friends whilst gaming. He then turned the xbox off and put the boxing on this argument had been building up a while and I blew up at him that he was taking the piss. He then stopped completely playing the Xbox for a week.

He's now resorted to locking himself away on the pc for hours on end. Last night he came off for tea as soon as my backs turned he's back on it again, makes a half assed attempt at watching something with me for 10 mins before putting the football on. He's falling asleep through it so I suggest we go to bed and watch something. Before bed I popped to the loo and he's gone down and got the kindle and is playing games on it. I blew up again and said he is taking the piss, and I want to discuss things today.

I'm getting sick of this selfishness. To the point where I think, I don't really want to be here anymore.

He used to be a really thoughtful person when xmas comes around but this year I'm expected to get my own presents as he can't think of anything. He's constantly on the PC but can't be bothered to even look.

I need to speak to him today, I've tried but it just goes in one ear and out the other? Please help I can't leave just to make a point but I need him to know I'm serious this time.

summerwinterton Thu 10-Dec-15 09:57:25

Why can't you leave? I don't understand why you would want to stay with him.

Iamthinking Thu 10-Dec-15 09:58:23

How old is he? I am sure I won't be the only one to ask this.
He sounds about 12

Snowyxmastree Thu 10-Dec-15 10:05:42

He's 40. Yes he sounds about 12.

I forgot to add that last time we seperated, we were living together but not spending time together despite being in the same house. To me his behaviour is reverting back to this. He used to do anything to get me in another room away from him, putting on sports I hate ect.

I think it's almost triggering me back to the awful time he put me through the EA. alongside taking the kindle to bed as he used to do this so in the morning he could message the OW from Facebook rather than use his phone so I wouldn't get suspicious.

hellsbellsmelons Thu 10-Dec-15 10:13:17

Are there kids involved?
What is the house/flat situation?
Why can't you get out of this relationship?
I've no idea why you would put with this!

summerwinterton Thu 10-Dec-15 10:50:06

So he could be having another affair?

So why do you stay and why do you think this is all you deserve? You do have options and you can leave.

pocketsaviour Thu 10-Dec-15 12:56:46

I'm sorry, but it sounds like he has completely checked out of the marriage.

Do you have children?

ImperialBlether Thu 10-Dec-15 13:00:41

Well, the good thing is you won't miss him when he's gone. He's distanced himself from your marriage almost completely, hasn't he? In fact now he's not even getting you a Christmas present, I'd say he's distanced himself completely.

Do you have children? Do you work? Do you own or rent the house? Give yourself a break from this man. He's not good for you in any way.

ThisIsStillFolkGirl Thu 10-Dec-15 18:28:39

Oh god, just get rid and have a happy life instead.

Isetan Thu 10-Dec-15 19:10:55

He's obviously checked out of your relationship again, the question is, do you really want to hang around waiting for him to check back in again?

LionHeartedWoman Thu 10-Dec-15 20:15:03

He's not going to check back in, this is his default setting. This is who he is on the days when he is not trying to make it up to you, wanting sex, feeling in a social mood.

IMO, he's not a keeper. Get rid, he's a arse. And a big one.

jessicame Fri 11-Dec-15 07:43:05

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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