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Over here with your break-up platitudes please.

(20 Posts)
catcalledmarvin Wed 09-Dec-15 21:03:57

I've broken up with BF this evening.
I'm on the sofa doing the obligatory sobbing.

Please can you tell me it will get better/hand hold/give me your 'we broke up and I thought it would be the end of the world but then <this good thing> happened.

Thanks flowers

Epilepsyhelp Wed 09-Dec-15 21:12:00

I broke up with my ex after dithering over future for years. A year later I met my now DH and didn't feel dithery for a second. If it wasn't right then it's good that you broke up. This pain will pass and you'll come out stronger. flowers

Getit Wed 09-Dec-15 21:18:12

I binned my v abusive ex and can honestly say I am so happy I did ! In doing so I met someone else who is the complete opposite .
Be kind to yourself and remember or write down why you decided to end the relationship x

PushingThru Wed 09-Dec-15 21:19:37

I remember how I felt 16 months ago, thinking I'd die with the pain of imagining them in bed together. Time heals (you asked for platitudes wink), but it doesn't follow normal linear time, emotions ebb & flow, every reemergence of sadness doesn't mean a setback, keep busy, keep your dignity, sever contact, make plans, look forwards, be open with your friends & family, look around & write your next life chapter. You'll be fine.

PushingThru Wed 09-Dec-15 21:27:04

Oh & I had a nice rebound fling, got a promotion & rediscovered my social life. No romance, my choice, but I'm not short of offers grin

catcalledmarvin Wed 09-Dec-15 21:27:11

Platitudes are what I asked for pushing fgrin

Thank you for your responses, my sadness is compounded because I'm too darned old for this.

Handywoman Wed 09-Dec-15 21:29:53

Was falling apart at the seams in the summer. Uncontrollable constant tears. Went NC which was the best thing by far even though it felt painful and cruel at the time. Now back out there, dating, having a laugh and enjoying the space. Barely think of him except for feeling relief that I did the right thing.

PushingThru Wed 09-Dec-15 21:33:49

You're never too old for heartache if you've still got a heart to give. You sound like you've got a great sense of humour. My Irish dad always says good humour will carry you further than good looks grin

catcalledmarvin Wed 09-Dec-15 21:37:01

Which is just as well pushing because I'm a total minger fgrin

Cabrinha Wed 09-Dec-15 21:59:50


To get over one, you have to get under another.

Get yourself on an online dating site! grin

It does ALWAYS get easier with time.

My ex wrote a list of "things I can do now ex has left me" (not about me! Previous gf)
I remember it included "pick at my toenails in front of the TV".

So go on - think of some things you can do now that you were holding back on! Or something he didn't fulfil that you compromised on? Might not to awful, but was still a compromise.

You can tell us if he had a small cock grin

Threefishys Wed 09-Dec-15 22:17:36

I got dumped last year after four years with a note through the door...that stung a bit...I spent a month in denial, breaking my own heart as he would not speak to me etc... Six weeks later I met DP online when I was basically fishing for compliments not dates (Tinder) met him a month later We've been together just over a year now and he is my perfect match. I like to think of it that I got dumped just at the right time that my perfect match was out there and single also...we are very happy, he understands me in a way I couldn't have dreamed of with my ex. So yes, give yourself a month to get match ready as it were and get back out there!!

3point14159265359 Wed 09-Dec-15 22:18:54

I never liked him anyway. He's not good enough for you.

catcalledmarvin Wed 09-Dec-15 22:33:34

That's what my friends thought 3point we went out for Christmas drinks, to be fair to him he was driving but we were only out for a couple of hours and he purposely sat away from us and played on his phone all evening.
Male & female friends tried to engage him in conversation but he wasn't interested.

I wish I could say he wasn't supremely trouserful cabrinha but he was although there was some difficulty around those parts so sex was fraught with disaster.
I'm glad to be rid of that.

Now he's gone I can lose some weight, I'm about a stone overweight now he kept feeding me up I wondered if it was on purpose.

He is strange about things; liked walking (me too) but when we stopped for a coffee he wouldn't sit on the ground, didn't like fabrics, was strange about being touched and I do mean gently, an Eeyore everything was miserable whereas I'm usually happy.

No big red flags, just a series of smaller things that I found oppressive when bundled together.

3point14159265359 Wed 09-Dec-15 22:35:16

Well, if I think it, and your friends think it, then it must be right.

Well done you for not trying to settle.

Cabrinha Wed 09-Dec-15 22:38:19

He sounds like a hard work miserable fucker!
And I'm not trying to make you feel better.

God, if you'd just posted to describe your new boyfriend on the dating thread, we'd all be posting "oh no, hard work, too much crap - NEXT!"

PushingThru Wed 09-Dec-15 22:48:01

Oh and don't start the spiralling thoughts of 'all men are like this...blah blah'. They're not. I'm gay & women can be total knobs too.

sinber Wed 09-Dec-15 22:52:54

Oh no! A Feeder. Who needs one of those in their life?

A few years down the line the Fire Brigade will be knocking down walls to get you out. Creepy git!

PushingThru Wed 09-Dec-15 23:38:23

I'd bet everything I own on you not being a 'minger' 😂

PoppyAutumnScarlettRuby Wed 09-Dec-15 23:59:51

Surely he just beat you to it; he said what you were thinking already, right?

There's bound to be something you'll be glad to do again because he didn't like it or possibly see the back of!

catcalledmarvin Thu 10-Dec-15 07:07:36

I slept but today is the being sad but so please keep your platitudes coming.

I binned him off poppy there are lots of things I can do better without him.
.sex see my previous post
.put the heating on he was always too warm
.music I love music, he didn't like it
.go out with friends see previous post
.eat healthily
.have some peace without his moaning all the time

And that's just the fundamental stuff, there's loads.

Mingerism is all in the eye of the beholder isn't it pushing? wink

I might wander over to the dating thread cabrinha, I'm not up for dating yet and want to get back to my fighting weight before I get out there but I'd like to wave a Pom Pom on all your behalf.

Keep the cheery thoughts coming please.

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