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How to deal with a DH in a legitimately bad mood? (After hearing disappointing news)

(8 Posts)
PurpleTreeFrog Tue 08-Dec-15 14:55:54

DH just found out that he didn't get a promotion/new job he was hoping for. Before applying they had virtually promised him the role. Then after the interview they made him wait quite a long time before giving their decision and kept postponing the meeting to tell him, which just seems rude really, from this side of things. The reason they gave wasn't great either and the whole thing feels really unfair and frustrating.

DH is going to be feeling crap when he comes home from work later. How do you deal with bad moods when they have a genuine reason? He is not an angry or abusive type, I just know he's going to be a bit gloomy and maybe a bit touchy too.

Is it best to stay out of their way or to try and cheer them up? I would appreciate hearing your experiences with this sort of thing.

KittyandTeal Tue 08-Dec-15 14:58:31

I generally do a 'that's really shit, I'm sorry, do you want to talk about it?' Then carry on as normal allowing for a bit of sulking and short temperedness.

It's a bit different but dh works lates and nights so can often be tired and grumpy. I make allowances but sometimes I do need to tell him to pack it in and cheer the fuck up!

Seeyounearertime Tue 08-Dec-15 14:59:45

I think we're all different really.
Maybe have a cuppa and a cudle ready and then let him rant about it a bit. Or if he'd rather go out the way for a bit then let him etc.

Personally, if it were me, I'd be upstairs on my own and killing things on the PlayStation grin

WineOrSleep Tue 08-Dec-15 15:00:50

Depends what kind of person your DP

Mine would prefer a brief "I'm sorry" then to be left alone whilst he broods / frets then eventually carry on as normal

Other friends of mine prefer lots of hugs and sympathy and long drawn out "it'll be ok's"

I'd personally go down the brisk no nonsense tough love route. Yes, it's a shame he didn't get it (and you can both have a few moments of verbally abusing the interviewer if you so wish wink) then make proactive plans as to what elements of the new jobs he liked and see if you can find another position similar for him to apply to (either at the same company or different)

Try and turn it into a silver lining somehow

And give him a hug from us

BertrandRussell Tue 08-Dec-15 15:01:02

Just be perfectly normal but try to make sure there's space and time sometime to talk/listen. If that's impossible, see if you can free yourself up sometime soon, and tell him when

In our house we'd have an illicit midweek bottle of wine, too.

PurpleTreeFrog Tue 08-Dec-15 15:03:14

Yes, I'm worried I will make it worse by trying to talk about it too much and rationalise it. I hate it when he does that to me, good intentions and all but doesn't help...!

HooseRice Tue 08-Dec-15 15:13:04

If I know my DH has had a tough day I make him his favourite dinner. I ask him about it and stop and listen if he wants to speak about it. He'd do similar with me.

Skiptonlass1 Tue 08-Dec-15 15:13:08

Don't try to be too chirpy so soon - the time for that is in a day or two once he's worked through the disappointment. Let him be upset and angry, it sounds like it's justified- once he's worked through that you can talk more positively about how to move on, but not tonight.

Personally, I'd go for big hug, tell him how sorry you are, ask if there's anything you can get him (a beer, cup of tea etc) and listen to him if he wants to talk.

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