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worried about DH

(9 Posts)
waitingforsomething Mon 07-Dec-15 17:26:14

My DH is getting very run down. He is barely sleeping- he's up really late doing work and then insists on helping with the baby when he wakes at 4-5am for a feed- he rarely goes back to sleep after this and then will get up with older dd even if I'm already up. I never ask him to get up During the week and even if I can convince him to stay put he wakes up anyway then doesn't get back to sleep.
He is a light eater and only eats 2 meals a day- he's skip even more if I would let him but I cook most nights.
He does not complain but I can see he's tired, underweight and feeling the strain. I want him to relax a bit more often but he really struggles to do this. Any ideas how I can help him to relax before he grinds himself down further?

TheSilveryPussycat Mon 07-Dec-15 19:34:40

Can you convince him to have one proper lie-in per week at the week-end? AUIU sleep deficit can be redressed - in the short term.

TheSilveryPussycat Mon 07-Dec-15 19:35:18

*AIUI

waitingforsomething Mon 07-Dec-15 20:01:32

I will try. He's near-on impossible to convince to stay in bed. I think I might even take the children over to my mums for a night or even two to try and get him to sleep.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Mon 07-Dec-15 20:42:55

No! Advice from strangers about how to make another adult do a thing they clearly don't want to do. Just no. He is a grown man. Treat him as a grown up who knows his own mind.

Tell him you are worried that he is grinding himself down too far. Ask him if there is anything you can help him with. Listen to his answer.

waitingforsomething Mon 07-Dec-15 21:11:39

I'm not trying to make him do something he doesn't want to do. I just want him to be in good health as right now he isn't.
Thanks anyway

Candlefairy101 Tue 08-Dec-15 10:14:34

Do you feel there's an underlying problem with regards to why he feels obliged to do all these things?

Sometimes if I get run down I feel guilty of I'm not doing a bough and start to try to do everything.

Could he be feeling a little depressed or guilty so is trying to over compensate?

Sorry I never asked if this is a recent thing? X

waitingforsomething Tue 08-Dec-15 10:28:45

He often says that I do so much for the kids during the day that he wants to help at night when he's here. Baby only gets up once though so it's not a big deal for me to do it and I go back to sleep anyway. He feels bad about everything I do but honestly I don't do any more than average and I don't complain! I think he could be anxious about something but doesn't want me to worry so won't tell me. He's never been a great relaxer but he has got worse recently.
I think I need to try and get him to talk he must he worrying.

TheSilveryPussycat Tue 08-Dec-15 12:36:58

Why not have one weekend day for you to lie in and the other for him? To run with a permanant sleep deficit is decidedly unhealthy, you both need to catch up if you can on a regular basis.

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