Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

My friend was net stalking people I used to date

(50 Posts)
bodenbiscuit Fri 04-Dec-15 08:42:01

I've had various conversations with him in the past about people I'm seeing etc. He's been away for a while. Suddenly, yesterday he sent me a whatsapp message asking about someone I used to date ages ago, who is not a friend of mine on Facebook. He then sent me pictures of him from Facebook that he had obviously copied saying 'is this him? It obviously is because he has an unusual name' I said this was a strange thing for him to do and he replied 'oh well I can make my own enquiries then'. He has done this sort of thing before and I don't like it - it makes me uncomfortable. So I told him this and now he has blocked me.

I really don't think this is a normal way to behave is it?

WhoTheFuckIsSimon Fri 04-Dec-15 08:44:10

Not normal. Does he fancy you?

SerenityReynolds Fri 04-Dec-15 08:47:22

Not normal. Be grateful he has blocked you and let the friendship fizzle. I can't see any reason for him being able to justify doing this. Agree with who, does your friend fancy you? Doesn't excuse it, mind.

Cloppysow Fri 04-Dec-15 08:53:59

Really odd.

bodenbiscuit Fri 04-Dec-15 09:08:31

I think he does. But what annoys me is the way he was demanding for me to tell him who these people were as if I owe him an explanation.

PeaceOfWildThings Fri 04-Dec-15 09:13:02

Think yourself very lucky he has blocked you. End contact. Poor boundary issues like that are a worrying sign of control freakery which is a worrying sign of toxic and harmful behaviour if they are given room to influence you.

bodenbiscuit Fri 04-Dec-15 09:23:34

You're right Peace. I used to think that he knew me really well but maybe he's just manipulative. I've known him for many years. I'm confused because I always thought he cared about me.

Arfarfanarf Fri 04-Dec-15 14:19:41

No it's not normal.

I think you should be pleased he has blocked you.

Who the hell does he think he is?

'make his own enquiries'

He's going to contact people and demand to know if you've ever slept with them?

If he was your partner, this would be bloody out of order!

As your friend - fucking creepy.

bodenbiscuit Sat 05-Dec-15 11:20:57

I agree Arf and now he's just cut me off. I just don't understand his motivation. I'm upset because I really thought he was my friend and cared about me.

Arfarfanarf Sat 05-Dec-15 11:24:02

You were wrong. thanks
Thats not your fault but at least now you know.
He appears to feel some sense of ownership of you.
Thats pretty scary shit.

bodenbiscuit Sat 05-Dec-15 11:57:33

He's always tried to make me believe that he has my best interests at heart. I'm beginning to feel that I'm a terrible judge on whether someone is a good person to have in my life or not.

AllChangeLife Sat 05-Dec-15 11:59:50

By blocking you I think he is trying to make you come running... please don't. It is weird behaviour and he is manipulating you! I think you are a pretty good judge as you have come on here knowing something is wrong!!

bodenbiscuit Sat 05-Dec-15 12:19:27

He's blocked me on every medium so I can't contact him at all. I wouldn't try to go running to him because I think his behaviour has been really unreasonable and that's his problem and not mine. I would prefer him to block me than to do weirder and weirder stuff and sending me messages I have to deal with.

Arfarfanarf Sat 05-Dec-15 13:27:30

Hes just a friend who turned out to be a dick.
Best thing to do is shrug and move on.

And plan what you are going to do when he realises yoh arent going to go round to his house pleading for forgiveness.

Because i bet you anything when he feels you have been sufficiently punished, he will unblock you and expect you to come running.

Please do not.

MoriartyIsMyAngel Sat 05-Dec-15 13:38:18

Good. If he repents and unblocks you on anything, block him right back! You're better off without this stalkerish weirdo in your life.

AyeAmarok Sat 05-Dec-15 14:09:46

Not normal. Very worrying.

First, it's stalkery.

Second, he's acting like you owe him an explanation, you don't!

Third, he is so obsessed by whatever, he's lost perspective to the point he's blocked you on everything confused that is so far from normal that I'm a bit worried about you that you had to ask. I think your barometer of normal is a bit faulty (I mean that more kindly than it sounds).

It's a level of possessiveness and anger that you really don't want in your life. Leave him blocked and don't contact him again.

bodenbiscuit Sat 05-Dec-15 15:11:14

No, that's it now. I certainly won't go running back - it's stressful.

AyeAmarok - I have AS so often I don't really see people's behaviour for what it is. I spend a lot of time confused about people's actions.

bodenbiscuit Sun 13-Dec-15 10:57:06

In the middle of the night I got this email from him;

'bodenbiscuit, you are a shady character who lies. Good luck'

This, just because I won't admit to him whether the people he sends pictures to I have slept with or not.

rainydaygrey Sun 13-Dec-15 11:00:29

WTF!!! shock

ChipInTheSugar Sun 13-Dec-15 11:13:00

Block his email address and don't engage. He's weird!

bodenbiscuit Sun 13-Dec-15 11:31:48

I just don't understand him. He went away to India for work and has come back really strange.

pocketsaviour Sun 13-Dec-15 13:34:18

What the actual fuck.

Don't respond to anything he sends, ever. I would recommend you block him from every medium you can.

Do you have any mutual friends who you could ask if they have noticed anything strange in his behaviour recently?

MrsUnderwood Sun 13-Dec-15 13:36:57

Just write back "oh fuck off, it's none of your business," and never respond to anything else.

DoreenLethal Sun 13-Dec-15 13:41:32

Sure he isn't tracking you on here?

Whocansay Sun 13-Dec-15 14:12:38

I'd text back " do fuck off you stalky weirdo". And never contact again.

But it's probably more sensible not to respond at all. Just be very thankful this person is out of your life.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now