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Never going to find someone

(10 Posts)
NeverGoingToBeHappy Thu 03-Dec-15 22:00:27

I'm 23 and have never had sex, never been in a relationship. I like men but no one that I like ever likes me back. Sometimes just want to die. I see handsome men openly staring at my friends when they walk down the street in casual clothes; I could go look my absolute best and the same men wouldn't look twice at me. I feel so horrible and disgusting, they take it for granted that they're gorgeous and (sexually) so powerful, I just feel like some ant on the floor, invisible

NeverGoingToBeHappy Thu 03-Dec-15 22:25:30

Anyone? sad

FredaMayor Thu 03-Dec-15 22:25:59

Bless you, OP, you are very young and everything seems so very black and white. In time you will realise it isn't, and that there is someone out there (of whatever stripe) who will think you are the dog's, etc. Please don't put limitations where there are none, and instead judge the world by your own values and not what you see on social media or the word of some airhead. They are a mirage.

Anyway, some of the best of us are late bloomers, and have an immense amount of fun.


NeverGoingToBeHappy Thu 03-Dec-15 22:28:53

Thank you. I am not unattractive (I think!) but compared to my friends I really am nothing. Im hideous

wintersocks Thu 03-Dec-15 22:30:10

Think about things you can do to boost your own confidence. How about taking up a new hobby for example. You may meet some nice friends there too. Just widen your social circles and please yourself for a bit. Once you're happier in yourself either a nice man will come along or it won't matter so much anyway. All sorts of people end up coupled up, if you look around you. Don't lose heart.

wintersocks Thu 03-Dec-15 22:30:42

comparison is the thief of joy

RedMapleLeaf Fri 04-Dec-15 07:04:39

How you feel about your own self worth and your sex/love life are two very separate issues and you seem to be mixing them together. I.e. basing your self worth on your sex/love life. This is a recipe for disaster.

wowis Fri 04-Dec-15 09:13:34

aww op thats really sad that you feel like that but it's honestly not how life works in the long run.
You may feel you don't have the same instant appeal or whatever it is you think your frinds have over you looks wise but as someone who has worked in eaing disorders running self image groups for 10 years I can tell you that actually what people find most attractive is when someone is comfortable in their own skin. Stop comparing yourself to others and be you!
You will have things about you they don't and there will be someone (or a number of someones) out there for you, but your chances of attracting the right someone if youre reflecting how you feel in your demeanor are seriously going to decrease.
Start bigging yourself up, its great if others/friends are really attractive good for them but it isn't a competition and it may be you feeling you're shit or second best is what potential partners are noticing and not finding attractive. So get happy with you and take the pressure off and I bet youll find suddenly its right in front of you.
good luck op. smile

ravenmum Fri 04-Dec-15 09:21:35

I had my first relationship when I was 23 smile. Made the mistake of staying with him, partly as, like you, I didn't appreciate myself at all! So watch out for that when you do find one ...

Get yourself some new, really ugly friends and maybe see your GP about your anxiety/depression(?) and low self-esteem. I've had counselling now (about 30 years to late!) and it has taken a couple of years even to start believing that maybe I was wrong about being shit...

DoorToTheRiver Fri 04-Dec-15 10:40:24

OP at 23 I'd not even kissed a bloke let alone had a relationship or sex. I felt pretty crap about myself too.

It all changed at 24 when I discovered my confidence. I didn't look any different but confidence makes a world of difference.

Work on your confidence and your self esteem and the rest will follow.

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