After one broken marriage to a nice man who was just not right for me, we were way too young, and a horribly EA relationship that left me broken and a single parent I finally met an amazing man. So caring, kind, respectful, gentle and absolutely beautiful to top it off. He is Spanish and I have been friends with him since we met at work in 2012 and together for a year since he came back from Spain. We planned a life together but looking back I suppose it was always going to be difficult, but I guess you put those practicalities aside when you are so in love.
He has to go back home. He has a family business over there which will be his to take over in a few years and a property, so his life is there. His dad has been suffereing with some ill health and needs him there to help out in the business and start learning the ropes in order to take over possibly earlier than planned. His heart is also there. He wouldn't want to live here for years, it's not an option. He's always said he only wanted to stay here for a couple of years max.
I have a six year old in school here and her father will drag me through the courts even if further down the line I wanted to move to Spain, which to be honest I'm not sure I do. I guess as much as his place is there, mine is here. I wouldn't be able to learn the language to the standard I would need to do the kind of job I do here and also, it's a massive leap of faith to uproot my child from her life here and her school and her family and friends.
He is going back for Xmas and then coming back on 30th until the 4th January and we have discussed a long distance relationship, but we both feel that would only work if there's some kind of end in sight. I think I would try, but that's because I'm hurting so much at the thought of losing him that it's better than nothing, but know in my head it would only be prolonging the enevitable. We are trying to enjoy the time we have left but it's just so hard to live in the moment and make the most of the time when you know what is going to happen.
I know we'll stay friends and keep in touch, but the thought of saying goodbye and that being the end is killing me as we are still in love and nothing has happened, noone has done anything wrong, feelings haven't changed, it's just circumstances, and I don't know how to get over this. I don't know if we should cut contact for a while when he goes back or try to switch to being friends. I have no idea how to handle this or to get over the pain at all.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Any advice on how to deal with breaking up with someone when you are both still in love?
KellyElly · 03/12/2015 14:03
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.