I feel I need to find a tactful way of speaking to DH about the way he plays with DS who is 4. I should first of all explain that DH is generally an excellent partner: helpful and hands on and this is the only issue.
My view is that DH goes too far and doesn't realise the effect he can have on DS. DH thinks I'm making problems where there aren't any. Generally they get on well- DS adores play fighting with DH in particular and DH is very hands on but I feel sometimes he thinks DS is older than he is and DH lacks some emotional sensitivity when playing.
By way of example, if DS is eating a treat like ice cream or sweets, DH will pretend he's going to eat it, resulting in DS shouting no and gulping the treat quickly. I've asked DH not to do it and explained that he should nt be made to feel those treats are at risk, but he is adamant DS knows he's pretending.
Or this evening DS had a tummy ache and needed the loo. He was wearing a cowboy outfit so I took off the holster so he could go to the loo and put it down on the kitchen counter and went to help DS in the toilet. When we came back DS wanted his gun and holster straight away and I pointed to where it was for him. Before he could get it, DH grabbed it and started playing with it. DS started screaming for it back and I told DH to hand it over. DH got cross for being "told off" in front of DS. I said how would you feel if you ran into a room looking for something and before you get it someone 3 x your size grabbed it and started using it. DH said DS knew I'd hand it to him in a minute. I don't think DS did know that.
Or DH does "spooky" laughing which sometimes DS loves and laughs at but sometimes he says stop it daddy it's scary, but DH doesn't stop until I step in. Again DH says I'm playing with my son and we re having fun whereas I think he goes too far
How do I explain this to DH so that he "gets it" without him feeling like I'm having a go at him? Or is DH right and am I making mountains out of molehills?
Ps sorry for the long post. There are other examples but I've probably waffled on enough
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How do I have this conversation?
thinkfast · 02/12/2015 19:28
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