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Odd or not?

(13 Posts)
mytimewillcome Mon 30-Nov-15 14:24:35

I am not part of this family anymore thank goodness but I found one of their Christmas traditions very odd and wondered what other people thought.

The stbxmil/pil used to lay in their beds on Christmas morning and expect all the 'children' to sit around their bed opening their stockings. I was in my 40s at the time with a child and a career; the others were in their 30s and one was in their 20s. I felt extremely uncomfortable doing it but they thought it was perfectly normal. To me it seemed that they were trying to keep the adults as children. What do you think? Would you have done it?

strawberryandaflake Mon 30-Nov-15 14:29:05


Saying that I caught my fully grown ex with his head in his mummy's lap with her stroking his hair. I could just think of that 'bitty' sketch with David Walliams after that and it didn't last long.

LaPharisienne Mon 30-Nov-15 14:49:17

My parents would still be doing this if they had their way! I totally agree it is a bit strange and I didn't like it for quite a while before I managed to quietly just... not.

So not terribly weird for the parents maybe but a bit strange that none of their kids had put their foot down at some point?!

AwfulBeryl Mon 30-Nov-15 14:54:25

I don't think it is strange if everyone is fine doing it, or if there isn't a huge back story...which I assume there is.

I still phone my Mum on Christmas Day and announce "He's been, He's been" I would be more than happy to open my stocking present in their bedroom if, not that it has ever been one of our traditions, it wouldn't bother me, I would quite like it.

AwfulBeryl Mon 30-Nov-15 14:54:56

Gah shocking amount of commas and nonsensical shizzle. I am ill.

TotalConfucius Mon 30-Nov-15 14:58:56

Were all the adult children still living at home or something? Or did the PIL wait in bed till everyone arrived? That's weird. They might still have been there at the Queens Speech if there was unexpected traffic.
When I was adult and lived at home, I was on the razz big time Xmas Eve, no way was I getting up to go and perch on the old 'uns bed (not with my DF's wind issues). When I left home, I'd roll up in time for the turkey to be carved. When I lived with DH, I'd pop round for tea as we preferred to burn our own Xmas dinner, when I had DC I said that's it I'm not leaving my house on Xmas Day ever again.
I would never wake up in PIL's house on Xmas morning. FIL, rest his soul, was a total Xmas Sergeant Major. Everyone had to get up and dressed and be seated in the front room so that he could pass everyone a present in turn. Preferably by 07:12. Once this was done everyone was herded into the dining room where a paltry breakfast of grapefruit (grapefruit FFS!) was served. Grimetty grimsville.

Cabrinha Mon 30-Nov-15 15:05:05

I think it's unusual certainly, but not odd.
Quite nice really, to start the day together in what presumably was a mimicking of childhood Xmas traditions?

mytimewillcome Mon 30-Nov-15 15:32:27

Oh there is a huge back story but for once I won't go into it smile

Personally I think it's fine to do it with your own children but once spouses come in there will be someone not wanting to do it. I was the third eldest person in the room after the parents! Their children had all left home.

AwfulBeryl Mon 30-Nov-15 16:01:23

I would find it quite nice, depending on how healthy my relationship was with the in laws.
I have a great relationship with mil and would be happy to do this with her, not so much with fil. I agree that if someone's not comfortable with it that it they shouldn't feel obliged to join in. I can see that it wouldn't be for everyone.

ImperialBlether Mon 30-Nov-15 16:05:25

Oh god the thought of a 40 year old DIL or SIL sitting on the edge of your bed opening a stocking... that just isn't right for anyone!

Surely after a certain age they don't get up early on Christmas Day anyway?

ARV1981 Mon 30-Nov-15 18:56:14

My sister and her husband quite happily did this at my parent's house... I thought it was odd for my bil to join in. It was ok when the grown-up children were single, but once a partner/husband was involved I think it's a bit weird.

I went to visit my mum on Saturday night with my ten week old baby, and we climbed into bed with granny for a cuddle. It was nice! But there's no way on Earth my dh would have joined in!

ifyouregoingthroughhell Mon 30-Nov-15 19:05:25

TotalConfucious - You are hilarious ! Very funny at a time it hurts to laugh. grin

mytimewillcome Mon 30-Nov-15 19:20:49

We were actually sitting on the floor round their bed rather than on their bed. My eldest would have to sit on their bed. Because I didn't want to do it they made a big song and dance about me breaking their traditions. I don't think any of them would question it. Maybe they will once they hit their 40s! I'm only 5 years from 50. I do wonder if we had lasted if they would have still made me do it at 50. I just found the whole thing ridiculous.

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