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in a relationship but occasionally wishing to cheat

(11 Posts)
wishesandkisses Sun 29-Nov-15 22:43:10

Don't get me wrong. I haven't/wouldn't do it. But every few months I'm desperate to sleep with someone else. I withdraw until these feelings pass and get on with life but it scares me.

I was young when me and my other half got together. He's a lovely caring guy, and if I asked for the world he would give it me. We have a son and I feel so undeserving of him when I feel like this.

I get so easily infatuated with people and have from a young age so it almost feels normal to get obsessive over something that can't/won't happen. Is there therapy available for this? For 2 months out of a year I get obsessive over someone else who isn't him and it scares me. I don't want to lose him and hate myself for thinking these things. Can anyone else relate?

I've made it sound like I don't love my partner but I really really do. I just don't get it!

LadyBins Sun 29-Nov-15 23:01:13

Are your hormones going barmy? Currently utterly infatuated with a work colleague who is also a woman both of us in long term relationships. Makes no sense to me and getting really pissed off with it!

Understand where you're coming from re obsessive. Can't stop thinking about them and it's really, really distracting. If anything it's tame when we're together and horrific when we're not - literally every other thought is about them. Very much love my partner, so not sure if wtf is going on confused

noclueses Mon 30-Nov-15 18:18:12

many people aer not sexually monogamous by nature, love is the higher emotion so in a way they don't always cross, it's very few people you could really love, but can fancy lots (purely physiologically speaking).

pocketsaviour Mon 30-Nov-15 18:32:43

He's a lovely caring guy, and if I asked for the world he would give it me.

So why not ask him to open the marriage? Try swinging? Threesomes?

daisychain01 Mon 30-Nov-15 18:47:13

i could (sort of) understand a threesome working if that was the basis of the relationship to start with, but it's very unreasonable to expect that poor guy to conpromise his values because the OP wants to sleep around!

wishesandkisses Mon 30-Nov-15 21:27:08

I'd never ask him, it's my problem- not his. I love him l. I just want to know how to make these feelings stop!

noclueses Tue 01-Dec-15 01:33:14

not everyone can stop it. If you libido is through the roof you could try taking some hormone balancing supplements etc, but as I say some people will never be able to have sex with one person all the life (or most of it) without killing their sex drive altogether - and that's dangeerous re chemical suppresants. All you could try is divert your physical energy into strenuous exercise - boring but you effective as much as can be.

noclueses Tue 01-Dec-15 01:34:36

no 'you' in the last part.

Drew64 Tue 01-Dec-15 11:27:12

Opening your marriage, swinging, threesome is a sound idea from pocketsaviour.
Don't be afraid to mention it, my DW and I haven't turned back since we found her a lover and my DW would positively encourage you.

daisychain01 Tue 01-Dec-15 23:12:13

You're a keeper aren't you Drew.

PassiveAgressiveQueen Tue 01-Dec-15 23:45:47

Was that sarcastic daisy chain?

Polyamory works for some people, don't just immediately dismiss it.

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